The Trout Stream
The Trout Stream
#96 - OM MY GUUUUUURRRRDDDD
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A $40 pair of “serial killer” frames, a first baby kick that stops time, and the greatest dad mug ever forged in a Lowe’s bucket—this one has range. We open with frugal fashion and brotherly roasting, then shift into the kind of holiday catch‑up that sticks: prime rib memories, gratitude, and the moment a future dad realizes his world just expanded and narrowed at once. From there, we dive into the sacred nerdery of jersey number 96, giving proper shine to Cortez Kennedy and passing Derek Barnett like a baton of nostalgia, with fast hits across MLB, NBA, and NASCAR that prove stats are just stories with jerseys on.
The golden trouts bring heart and humor. Trader Joe’s gets flowers for donating 100% of unsold fresh goods and moving tens of millions of pounds of food to communities that need it. Then we crank up the amps for retro gaming nights—Rock Band, Madden throwbacks, and the quiet genius of saving every old console. Fantasy football stirs the pot with semifinals, pride, and friendly wagers that matter way more than they should. And because no stream is complete without the weird, PWN delivers: a $900,000 garage painting, the surprisingly intense housekeeping Olympics, and a raccoon that drinks, rampages, and naps like a tiny masked celebrity.
Our Black Friday saga ties it all together: standing in the cold for mystery buckets, watching a would‑be bucket bandit sprint for destiny, and unboxing a ceramic five‑gallon “dad mug” that instantly becomes family lore. We close by teeing up listener‑driven polls and community goals across TikTok, Facebook, and beyond. Come for the laughs and oddities; stay for the warmth, sports nerdery, and small joys that make ordinary days feel cinematic. If you smiled even once, tap follow, share with a friend, and drop a review—what moment hit you hardest?
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You know, Paul, as this show progresses, I think there's a couple things that stand out, right? One is our ability to talk about anything. Two might be how cheap you are. Right? So you should love what I found. I found prescription glasses for like 40 bucks, right? Prescription. Now, mind you, I'm I'm still hashtag blessed. I don't need bifocals. I don't need trifocals. I don't get no coatings. I don't get no nothing. Right? 40 bucks. Plastic frames, plastic lenses out the door. Here you go. And I find these glasses that I absolutely love, right? Yeah. And I send them to my brother. And I'm like, hey man, check these out. And he goes, hey man, look at these 80s serial killer glasses you got.
SPEAKER_00And then for the rest of the day, I have to play cool. Like he didn't just hurt my feelings all damn day. I was like, oh man, these are so cool. We've talked about these so much, this style. And he goes, Oh, hey, cool 80s serial killer glasses.
Welcome To The Trout Stream
Life Updates And Holiday Catch‑Up
SPEAKER_02They look cool though. Like I get why they wore them. I mean, I just wanted you, I wish you would have just said nerd and moved on. You know what I mean? I liked them a lot. Yeah, sure you did. Yeah, yeah. No cats are safe in my neighborhood now. It's all right. I was just trying to save money, live better. They do look good. I like the red ones. I did like the red ones, and the orange ones were a little extreme. And then the the white ones, I don't know if the white ones are great or hideous. It's a hidden miss. White frames are hard. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Because white sunglasses, you're a D-bag. But white prescription, I don't know. White prescription is that's fly. You're either a fashion designer or no Pablo Escobar personally. So it's it's tough, but I won't be doing it. I'll tell you that. I won't. I know who's not doing it anymore. I know who won't be an 80 serial killer. They're good glasses. I might see if they have other ones. Yeah. Hello, friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Trout Stream. I am Harry Troutman, and with me as always is a guy who beat Sasquatch in a rock, paper, scissors contest. Best two out of three. I am Paul Troutman. So pick up a pollcast line and join us on the stream. We will discuss our favorite athletes to wear 97, hand out our golden trouts and eels of the week, do funny state laws that still exist today. PWN, that's Paul's weird news, and of course, much, much more. Paul, listeners, everyone, welcome to the Trout Stream. Welcome to 97. Hey, buddy. Welcome to 96. Welcome to 96. Man, last episode you were trying to get as one ahead, and I had to pull you in. Or no, you were one behind, now you're one ahead. Like you just don't know where you want to be. I want to be at 100. I just I can't wait for 100. I wish we really do. I wish we could talk about 100 because we have some things planned, but I'm just excited to get there. Slow and steady. We gotta do 96 to get there. It is currently the 11th of December. We have not recorded since Thanksgiving. It's been a bit. It's been a little bit. It's been a little bit. It's uh you got some things going on. I'm not gonna tell your business. We got a baby. I had my holiday party last week, my Christmas holiday party. I had to attend. Mm-hmm. So glad I did. I had a great time. I mean, it's it's it's a free prime rib dinner. And I drank. You're not gonna lie. Open bar. Yeah. So I had three Pepsi's. I was feeling uh a starry at the end, and then he was like, nah, I don't have any more, just Pepsi. I was like, all right, that's fine. Well, see you later then. Cool. You know, I'm not gonna not gonna fight for a starry. Thanksgiving was good. We had the pumpkin pie, of course, our bracket winner. Bracket winner from America's favorite Thanksgiving pie. Great Thanksgiving as always. Family and friends, how was yours? How was your time off? Anything new, anything exciting? Because I have one more thing exciting. But go ahead, you go first. Uh see, going back, Thanksgiving did pie night, and I brought uh an egless pumpkin pie. Oh it I made it. I said whichever pie wins the bracket. I will make it and eat it. I made two pumpkin pies, both were delicious. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't want another one another way. Perfect consistency. I might not do it. Yeah, I'll probably not do it again. I'll probably mess up next year. Perfect consistency. We had two Thanksgiving dinners, one with family and then one with friends. Great time. Did some Black Friday shopping? Ooh. Really, I just did some uh Black Friday waiting in line, get a free handout at Lowe's, and then came home. As did I. I forgot we have not talked about that. We will talk about that on packing up the truck. That is our packing up the truck segment. Yep. And then uh, yeah, it's been busy. Living life. Hey man, nothing wrong with that, dude. Itching to record. We are I have been itching. I was, I'm gonna be honest, I I was so glad to see some co-workers and all that and get my prime rib dinner because they have this horseradish cream sauce that's just uh my mouth, I'm not even hungry, my mouth's watering.
SPEAKER_01I know what you're talking about.
Marble Race Stakes And Jersey 96
Cortez Kennedy And Number Nerd Facts
Sports Odds And Ends Across Leagues
SPEAKER_02Before we jump into the show, we are a family show. And I've shared before my family's growing by one, and I felt her move and kick for the first time. Very exciting news. That is very exciting. It's absolutely insane. It's an insane feeling. Uh, Eagles lost on the day that I felt my daughter kick, and I did not care. Yeah, who cares? I didn't care. Nothing mattered. I mean, nothing else mattered. No. My whole world just got so big and so small at the same time. Drastic adjustment you just made right there. Yeah, it's it's so wild. And I'm so thankful for Ange and quick golden shout to her. I mean, she's just an absolute rock star with this. Uh, I'm not trying to get too emotional. We got to get on with a fun show. But I am just having the time of my life right now, buddy. Yeah. Living it up, dude. As they say on the streets, live in La Vita Loca. I was living La Vita Verde. Oh, okay. With the marble race today between me and you. Not only did I beat you, I got the win. You got the win. I got the win-win. You're right. I beat Paul and I won the race, which means I go first this week and a guaranteed first next week. That's why you're thinking 97, because you go first for 96 and 97. 96 and 97. That being said, with 96 overall, my favorite athlete to wear 96 is absolutely no one. It's a burner. I've had a couple of these throughout our uh 100 or 1 to 99 history. And I'm sorry, but 96, there's there's one I want to give them to you um instead. Okay. Because of what he did. So, yeah, with that, I mean, I'll take the bragging rights of winning the race, the Marvel race. And uh, I was really excited for that. And then I'll get to go first next week for 97. That makes sense. There's some good ones next week, too. There's some great ones next week. Are you kidding me? I cannot wait. So I'm gonna hurry up, skip my 96. Go ahead. Your turn. All right, I got a few here. Uh, first one's go baseball. The only one I can really think of, because there was not many in this. Uh Tommy Hunter with the Phillies from 18 to 20. 18 was his best season with us. I think he had like four saves, maybe a handful of strikeouts. Pretty decent. 18 was his year. Not much after that. Moving down the line. Let's go Derek Barnett, defensive lineman, Philadelphia Eagles. Huge, phenomenal, big playmaker. There's a few plays very in particular that come to mind when you think about Derek Barnett. Harry, what's your favorite play? I mean, the the fumble recovery. I can see it on your face. The fumble recovery. Yeah, 100%. And can I be honest? This is where later in life, and I I'm really not trying to be sentimental this episode, I swear. But, you know, later in life, this is why I wanted to give you Derek Barnett. That was your first Super Bowl. It's just as important to me, but maybe more important. You you're older. You've been waiting longer. Yeah, I've been waiting about five and a half years longer than you. Exactly. So therefore, I digressed Derek Barnett onto you. Makes sense. But prior to Derek Barnett, 96, it was on several teams, but I know him primarily as an Eagle, and I really try not to just pick Eagles. You'll find out later here. Clyde Simmons. He played for the Phillies defense in the early 90s when you had Seth Joyner, Jerome Brown, R.I.P. You had Reggie White, right? That was a solid deep, one of the best defenses in Philly history. Agreed. And you had Clyde Simmons there. But what about this guy here? Harry, an eight-time pro bowler, defensive player of the year in 1992. He's all decade team from Seattle, Cortez Kennedy. Dude, defensive lineman, defensive end. Stud Nation. Really? I mean, if you get defensive player of the year as a defensive end or a defensive lineman, you have to be good. Like, you've got to be lights out good. And that was this dude. And he's all decade team. What are you going to do? Let him through, apparently. 100% you let him through. Speaking about letting him through, going over all the numbers. I told you it was hard to find anybody for baseball. I can only find eight players in MLB history to wear the number 96. And now, you know, in recent history here of us, oh, you know, 95, you know, was wasn't until 2000s, or, you know, there's some high numbers that are random. The first player to wear the number 96 MLB history, Bill Voysell for the Braves in 1947 to 49. Let's go, baby. And then he goes to the Cubs and wears 96 with the Cubs for one year. Isn't that just perfect? Two players have worn 96 in NBA history, Don Ray in 1950, Tri-Cities Blackhawks.
SPEAKER_00Ooh. That was a good team.
SPEAKER_02And we're never, we're never going to forget him. Metal World Peace on the 09 Rockets. That dude just finds a crazy number and he's like, one of these days, you learn. I'll take any number that I can get. Yeah, I mean, I mean, if you're going to pay me a million dollars, I don't care what number you're going to put in. Moving on to draft picks, Harry. I don't have any for the NFL. No one really jumping out at you. No, I'm not the doctor. I can't really prescribe any good ones here for the NFL. Nobody was really popping up. But there's one for Major League Baseball in 2008. Some like him, some don't like him, some mock him. Craig Kimbrell. 2008. You ought to know. You do anything unique like that, you're going to get made fun of in Philly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Said, you ought to know. You.
SPEAKER_02And then NBA Harry has one. Not many, uh they stopped going past the second round. I think it was like late 70s, maybe mid 80s, somewhere in that time frame. But 1978.
SPEAKER_01The 96th overall draft pick was Duck Williams. I I thought it was just the coolest name. Duck Williams.
Golden Trouts: Trader Joe’s And Giving
SPEAKER_02Couldn't find many stats about old Ducky. I remember, you know, there was one game where he he did that thing, right? And it helped his team win or lose. You know. Probably quacked around somewhere. In Nescar. The 96 car has 640 races with two wins, both by Ray Elder in 71 and 72. Most races, the redneck Richard Childress with 108. Richard chose 108 race most all the time for the number 96 car. I'm surprised he doesn't have it. I don't know if somebody else owns it or what or like why he never went with that route. But then again, he could have gone with a different number right before he bought his team. True. Yeah. He probably raced for somebody with 96 and then he bought his team. I'm my own man. I will not be. Yeah. That makes sense. That definitely makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't want to wear your number. That's your number. It's not my number. My numbers. 3833. Makes sense. The 96 highest selling album in the US, George Michael Faith. You gotta have it. Gotta have the bait, the bait, the bait.
Nostalgia Gaming And Family Fun
SPEAKER_0296 Billboard Top 100 song, Donna Summers. Hot Stuff. Great song. Donna Summers is up here again. The 96th highest grossing movie, Inception. Have you seen it? Yes. I have not. Don't know if I would like it. It's weird. Yeah. No, I'm saying I'm saying I might like it too much. Is what I'm saying. We're already living living in a simulation. Yeah, I can see. I can see you really, really, really enjoying that movie. It's uh that movie is goes uh right through you. It's just one of those like, I don't know, I'm not gonna like it, and I'm gonna see the world different, and I don't want to do that. Let me be blind. Speaking of being blind, let's go to celebrities who are 96. Alright, wake up. Here we go. I have 41. I'm not gonna list all 41. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00I'm not even gonna list the top ten. I got two.
SPEAKER_02Because they're the only two that stand out to me. Alright. We have June Squibb. She was in a bunch of stuff. I'm gonna be honest. She plays nostalgia in Inside Out 2. Good one. She she did a special appearance on Modern Family, and that's where I know her for from as Auntie Alice. She steals salsa. And then you have James Hong, which I know him from Balls of Fury. The kids might know him from Poe's Dad from the Kung Fu Panda series. Also, another good good movie. Also 96. Now let's flip that coin, buddy. Because if you ain't living in 96, you're dead at 96. Yeah. We're gonna start with game show host Monty Hall. Monty Hall made it to 96. I'm very proud of him. Harry Morgan, TV actor. Oh Colonel Potter or Mash. I'll always shout out Mash guys. Tony Bennett. Okay. Harry Belafonte. Angela Lansbury. Oh, I know that name. Heard it twice. Oh man. That was a little too fresh for me. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot one more. Rosalind Carter. Ah, yes. First lady. I do apologize. Nothing personal, Rosalind. Nope. Miss Carter.
SPEAKER_01God.
Fantasy League Drama And Pride
SPEAKER_02No, I made it on the CIA list somewhere. No, we're all on there. It's fine. Without question, dude. Without question. But you know who else be doing it, Harry? Who'll be doing it? I got a big golden trout here. I've been sitting on this one. I've been waiting for us to record. It could go out to I remember the other year we gave out a golden trout to had like whoever made the best Thanksgiving side dish. Yes. Right? We could have given a golden trout out for who made the best Thanksgiving pie. Obviously, a little biased. I'd give it to myself here. There's so many things we can give it out to. We we talked about this. But here goes my golden trout. And this one goes out to coincidentally, a store I didn't know I would enjoy, but I actually thoroughly enjoy it. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? Uh this one goes out to Trader Joe's. I don't think I've ever set foot in a Trader Joe's. I used to mock, right? Until I found out about their two buck chuck or two dollar bottles of wine. I think it's a little bit more than that now. Uh great selection. Okay. We we go. Yeah, their two buck chuck actually is like an award-winning wine. It used to be$2 a bottle. Yeah, yeah. People would travel to like just load up. But you know what else they load up on? Is Trader Joe's donates 100% of unsold products every day. They're fresh products that they can't, you know, that might spoil produce.
SPEAKER_01Delhi meats 100%. Unsold products every day is donated.
SPEAKER_02For the year 2025, up until two weeks ago, when I when I pulled this stat, I saw it. I didn't pull, I saw this story. I didn't think I shared it with you. Harry and I were on some FBI CIA watch list with the amount of things that we share with each other. It's alarming. It's alarming. I know it is. Yeah. Uh forget it. If, like, hey man, did you send me this? Yeah, I sent it to you like three days ago. Don't worry. I'm going to send it to you. It is gone into ether. But they have given away 98 million pounds of food this past year. Wow. That's a lot. That is a lot. That's almost 50 tons. Yeah, I was doing some quick math. There's 2,000 pounds in a ton, right? You know, so take that number divided by two. So take 98, which is 49, 49 tons of food. Actually, no, way more than that because it's 98 million pounds. Whatever the math. That's a lot of food they've given away. Yeah, we don't do math on the show, buddy. I don't, you were. I was, you know what?
SPEAKER_00I was sitting here and I was gonna like, let him go. Let him go. He's trying. Look at me.
Beer Bets, Records, And Rituals
SPEAKER_02My math is in threes and sevens when it comes to the football season, right? I can count really high by seven. Yeah, right. But when somebody goes, what is uh seven times seven like 49? Like, how do you know that? Like, I remember one time uh somebody had seven touchdowns, they had 49 points. Like what? Like, dude, if it's divisible by seven, I automatically assume football. Speaking of football, that is something that I want to give a golden trout out to, actually. Thank you. Beautiful. I want to give a golden trout out to my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. They saved all their video games. So when we did our Thanksgiving Christmas with them, uh, we played Rock Band 2, I think. Yes. Or one of the early rock bands. We rocked out to that. We put a cheat code in, got all the songs. I didn't even know that existed. What? Uh yeah, all the songs. Uh, what else did we do? What else did we play? I played Madden 2001. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00Did we have that one?
SPEAKER_02We did not have one. Because one was when the cartridge turned blue. Uh I was like, oh wow, a blue cartridge. I've only ever seen gray and black. You're right. I mean, Tony Hawk was blue. But yeah, played a bunch of old video games and uh just had a really, really, really great time, really nostalgic of just playing, just playing old rock band. Also, I don't know if you're aware. I know you have the crooked pinkies you and Miss. My pinkies are actually double jointed. So I can't play Guitar Hero because my pinky doesn't bend, it locks up. Oh, you can't get that. Bottom one? No. So I always have to play on easy. Uh same. I just don't really want to try too hard. Well, that's the thing, is I can't. I physically I physically can't. Yeah. I mean, you know, I got we got these cameras now. People might be able to see this. You know, the really big pinky. I really can't when I try and get that one. I play Sweet Home Alabama on the regular guitar, but it just locks up, dude. It locks up something fierce, and I can't do it. So here I am, just like doom, doom, like just Harry's got the bass guitar. Oh, dude. I mean you'd be really good at slapping the bass. That's it. I mean, bub bum boom boom boom boom. It's like three or four chords or strings. I mean, you play a bass with one hand in your pocket. One more golden trout, buddy. It's I started with a quick one. Now I have another one. I don't know whose idea this was. Probably mine. I don't actually think so.
SPEAKER_00But we got approach about doing a fantasy football league with wives, me and you. Yes. And uh you and I are in the playoffs. Yeah. Look at us. I haven't played fantasy in 10 plus years, and I'm in the playoffs.
SPEAKER_02I got a first I got a round one bye week, buddy. You got a round one bye week. And I was going on a five-game losing streak. You and I were the top two teams a few weeks ago. And then all of a sudden I'm like, I got this. And then my team was just like, no, you don't. No, you don't. You don't got this. I was the number two highest scoring team, I think, three out of the last five weeks. And I've lost to the person who's put up the most. And I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. It's been brutal for you.
Funny State Laws Quiz Returns
SPEAKER_00I just I've just had some duds, man. Some um weird year football. Like, I have great players. Um, it's just one of those long years for these guys, and it's just it's fine.
SPEAKER_02I mean, what are the chances though that both of our wives are actually out of the playoffs? Yeah. It's kind of weird. I mean, maybe they should let us help manage their teams a little more. I did also I'm just kidding. JK L O L. Real quick, I never do anything for the show without consulting you, right? Everything everything is always like, hey, I got this email. Hey, I got blah, blah, blah, blah. I always send it to you. Well, Kelsey, the guy's wife, she threw a bet in there into the group chat about adding her to the podcast, coming on to the podcast, which I agree. I said yes, absolutely. Without question. I didn't even I didn't even contact you. So, buddy, we really need to win. We do. Not that we wouldn't mind having Kelsey on. We'll have everyone on. I don't care. Yeah. Uh, it's just a pride thing at this point. Right. Like, I really just want to win fantasy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I have Kelsey this week, but also, like, if she wins, bring her on, whatever. Yeah. We can just mute her mic. It's fine. I I'm not saying all that. I'm just saying uh pride got in the way, and my my troutman, uh, my troutman ego is just like, without checking, without doing anything with you, without consulting, I was just like, oh yeah, is that where you want to go? Is that where you want to go? You want to do this dance? And then now we're doing that dance. Yeah. So I'm sorry, I didn't check in. So I'll I'll give myself a little eel for that one. Nah, it's fine. You're allowed. But uh now, whoever started this league, I don't know who started it. I was just happy to join approached me with the idea. Ah, I love you guys. This has been this has been so much fun. Yeah. Unfortunately, I eliminated him in the playoffs. I say unfortunately, because him and I had the two lowest scores last week. Like, we would have I would have lost to anybody but Chance, but we both had terrible weeks, and I just so happened to move on. Like, that was all it was. Oh man. So you wait, you knocked Chance out of the playoffs. I knocked Chance out. So who's left in the playoffs? It's I'm facing Kelsey and you're facing Guy. That's it. So we're in the semifinals. Oh, so Chance and Rowan are both out. They both lost last week. So they gotta face each other. Oh yeah, they're facing each other this week. This is serious, dude. Yeah, like we're in the semifinals now.
SPEAKER_00Or the AFC NFC championship match?
SPEAKER_02Potential. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then Woodard goes on to the championship.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, next week's championship. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so we can face each other in the championship game.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. What is life?
SPEAKER_02I thought we had another week. No. There is no more time. I feel like we just drafted. No, because we did it old school to where like you start playoffs at week 14. Which huge fan of because like after that, people start pulling guys and then it's you know. Smart, big brain move. That's why Chance was a commish. Thanks. Thanks, Commission. Beer on me. Yeah. We'll do a beer bit later. Which golden trout to chance anytime. Yeah, we're gonna go on Tate. We haven't been on the show for a while. Right. We're coming off the rails here. That's why we did a short intro. Whenever our teams face, so Chance and I, whether it's Penn State versus Minnesota Golden Gophers off a Philly sports team, professional team against a Minnesota team, Chance Snapchat me. Really? It doesn't matter what sport it is. Yeah. Like I've been Snapchatted about women's college volleyball, Penn State versus Minnesota, it was beer bet. And the beer bet is whoever loses has to buy the owner of beer. I think at one point, like I go back, used to visit him more often than I do now. I need to go back. I think there was one time where it was like 20 to 18. You're like, ooh, all right, well, we gotta square this thing up. And it's not, all right, well, you owe me two. It's no, no, no. No, it's 20 beers versus 18 beers. You won 18. Yes. And so, like, who's buying this round? And we went back and forth, little tally marks. And then, like, after a handful, you're like, whatever. And we just keep it rolling. Yeah, I imagine uh yeah, it's probably just better.
SPEAKER_01You just forget.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. We did not put a beer bed on fantasy, though.
SPEAKER_01That's wild, dude.
Teasing The Next Listener Bracket
PWN: Garage Masterpiece And Cleaning Olympics
SPEAKER_02I just thought about that. It's too late now. Yeah. All's forgiven. You know what? We we give him a we give him a beer for being the commission. Yeah, 100%. Free beer. Alright, buddy. You want to do something a little fun, something we haven't done in a while. Ooh, what's that, buddy? All I really want. How about we do a little Money State Law Still Exists today this week? Brought to you by Baker's Bail Bonds. You need that bread? Call Baker's Bail Bonds. Harry, let's review. And when I say let's review, this has been a while. For our for our OG traditional listeners, they know it's about to go down. They know it's popping. Harry, you are sitting at 49 and 40. Still positive. All coming back to me now, baby. It's all coming back. So here's the best part is uh I like this. I like bringing this old school feel back to our show and the fact that I save show sheets. Yes. I am that guy. I have a stack. I don't know if our listeners are going to see this, if this is going to make the cut, but this is a stack of paper. And I had to upgrade my folder. I have everything saved. And I think I have another folder somewhere from like earlier episodes. Yeah, dude, I love printing off show sheets. I love messing with paper. And that's how I keep notes and keep track of Harry's record. So I had to go through the folder to find out Harry is sitting at 49 and 40. Are you ready? I'm ready. In this state, it is illegal for a gorilla to be allowed in the back seat of any car. Your options are Washington, Massachusetts, Kansas. Alright, let's break this down. First and foremost, did you watch that show on HBO called Chim Crazy? Not yet, no. First off, do it. It's great. Second off, the wording's a little weird, right? It's not automobile, it's car. Now, is that is that a website you got the law from? Is that where you found the law? But I don't know. That's something to make you question it, though, right? Why is it saying car?
SPEAKER_00Not automobile, which makes me would think Massach Massachusetts, they're a little pompous.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean? They say automobile. They're a little proper up there. They gotta have it. Kansas definitely would shoot it, shorten it down the car. But also, at the time this thing could have been written, it could have also only been eight people in Kansas total. Right. You never know. And then you have Washington. And you have those hippies. And then you gotta remember why was this law created, right? And I don't think you're putting a I am gonna say Kansas final answer. It is illegal. A grill and it is illegal for a grill to be in the backseat of any car in the state of Massachusetts. Really? Yeah. See, that's what happens. I was like, maybe they aren't as pompous as I thought. This is what I get. Sorry, Massachusetts. You're just like us, regular folk. That's it. All right. Now you ready for the next one, Harry? Yeah, I might strike out. I'm a little nervous. Moving on. You're sitting at 49 and 41. Still positive. Still positive in this state. It is illegal for mourners at a wake to eat more than three sandwiches. Your options are Oregon.
SPEAKER_01New York. Louisiana.
PWN: Tipsy Raccoon And Takeaways
SPEAKER_02Mourners at a wake. What was the first one? Louisiana, New York, and what was else? Oregon. Oregon. Mm-hmm. Now. Wakes, right? Let's talk about wakes. Mm-hmm. Let's talk about wake, awake, awake. Such a great reference. Very proud of you, actually. It actually worked. Isn't that an Irish wake? Isn't that an Irish thing? Yeah, I mean, considering. And I I feel like Louisiana, you got the French Creole, they they more mourn and sad than wake. And Washington, I feel like you compost down to a tree in Washington. Right, yeah, but it's also Oregon, so same difference. Oh, we're in Oregon now? Poop. That changes everything. Yeah. I mean. New York? Do you want me to repeat the law to you? No, you can't have more than three sandwiches at a wake, right? Right. It said it's illegal for mourners at a wake to eat more than three sandwiches. Right. No, you were really contradicting yourself up there. Or I'm just messing with you. I don't know. See, New York is just like such the obvious answer that I almost don't think it's New York. But like, are you just trying to give me a nice little gimme? See, here's where the mind game comes in. Mm-hmm. But then it's also Oregon, and I get every Oregon wrong one ever. But why only three? Oregon, final answer. Is it legal for mourners? Mourners at awake to eat more than three sandwiches in the state of Louisiana.
SPEAKER_01Why?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I was setting you up. I put it on a T for you, Harry. You did. We're back. So now you're 49 and 42. I thought you were gonna get over that threshold. You were gonna get one per state. Here we go, but 49 and 42. Still positive. Yeah, still positive. I mean, you know, you know what? It's just like uh going over and the team still wins, you know? It's just like, yeah, we're go team. We're doing great, but yeah. I I could wear the golden sombrero and went over four or four strikeouts, but at the end of the day. At the end of the day, it is what it is. A win's a win. Team win. We don't have a bracket. We are gonna we'll you know what? Let's tell them we're gonna hold off on the bracket until the start of a new year. Uh, we're actually gonna have a poll for the bracket. We're trying to put it as much in the fans' hands as possible. I want to put everything in their hands when it comes to these brackets. Oh, okay, good. We are a PG show, bud. Absolutely. And yeah, so I think this is the best way to do it. Should should we announce some options now or should we just wait till we post it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, we we can start, you know, a little taste, little uh because one of mine, uh I thought about this one for a while.
Black Friday Lowe’s Bucket Adventure
SPEAKER_02You did, and it just it popped up 2000s comedies. Okay, January 1st, 2000 to December 31st. I'm gonna go 2009. In that that era there. Yeah. Comedies. I sent you a link, and it was like the top 50 comedies from that era, and I was like, they're all good. I was what we were watching uh knocked up. Yeah, how many famous people are in knocked up? Oh, yeah, absolutely dude. Before they're like really big, before they blew up, blew up, yeah. And you got Paul Rudd in that movie. Wow. It was big as it was. It is time for America's favorite segment, PWN Paul's Weird News. Here is your host, Paul. Hey Harry. Thanks for a shout out here on the streets, and boy, do I got a doozy for you. Good evening. And tonight, we've got the Wallace headlines lined up, so buckle up. Our first one here, Harry. We all got things in our garages. Our grandmas have stuff in their garages, our our parents have stuff, but a suburban garage somewhere turned out to be not the realm of expired paint cans and lawn chairs, but maybe a lost masterpiece. According to a report, someone recently discovered what could be a previously unknown Renaissance painting. Renaissance, not the fair, the era. And get this it might be worth$900,000. Some person's junk is another person's call to Sofie, folks. You know what I'm saying? So picture this Dust Bunny's half-empty toolbox, a dusty tarp, and behind it all, a painting that might be vintage Michelangelo's long-lost cousin. They are saying this is the like cousin to the Mona Lisa. This was in somebody's garage they picked up at like a yard sale thrift store. You're like, oh, one of these days I'll put it up. And a Renaissance piece just passed around collecting dust and like, hey, you're gonna get rid of that? That's the piece day resistance. One day I will put it up. And that day I put it up for auction for$900,000. So next time your roommate complains about your garage clutter, or in my case, my wife, I was telling just one bad attitude away from having a six-figure discovery out here. All right now. Dirty, right? Dirty garage. What do you need to do? Garage, you need to upkeep, you need to clean it. Harry, if only there was a reason, you know, to motivate people to clean their homes. How about housekeeping Olympics? Yes, they are real. They are a true thing. So check this out. There's an actual thing called the housekeeping Olympics, and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. People are going viral, Harry, viral, as in popular on the internet, not sick, for competing in bed making, measuring speed, precision, and neatness. Like gymnasts with fit at sheets, or as I like to call military basic training. I competed in this for six and a half weeks, like 22 years ago. Did you win? I did pretty well. It wasn't first place.
SPEAKER_01Wasn't last. It's kind of like being uh chased by a bear. Can't be last.
The Legendary Dad Mug Moment
SPEAKER_02Don't have the TI yell at you, you're fine. You survive. So while Athletes Break Records in stadiums, these modern-day warriors are breaking dust bunny records in linen closets, cozy, competitive, and oddly compelling. Harry, there is a vacuuming for speed and accuracy. I think they do pretty well at that one with the speed, not the accuracy part. Uh, there is if there's a fitted sheet folding competition, sign me up. I fold our fitted sheets here at my house. What is the one chore you hate the most? Folding laundry. Really? Yes. Yes, the one chore I hate the most is folding laundry. Thanks for that. Now let's move on to our last segment of PWN this week. And Harry, this news article has made me very proud to be a co-host of our show. This this article has made me be very proud to be out here on the streets reporting for PWN because we have been sent this news article multiple times from several people. I've been tagged in this one. I've been sent it directly. Our show has been sent this one. Now, you thought only humans are the ones capable of making questionable decisions.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I know I do all the time.
SPEAKER_02Agreed. Okay, not so much anymore. But think again. Because in Virginia, someone or something apparently stumbled into a convenience store, drank a little bit too much of their uh their drinks there, and caused a bit of a ruckus, and then passed out in the bathroom on a very cute picture. No, we're not talking about a human. We are talking about a trash panda. Ladies and gentlemen, a raccoon broke into a convenience store, drank up all their booze, got inebriated, passed out ever so cutely in the bathroom, and everybody took a bunch of pictures of it. Kind of weird, but also kind of cool. Authorities say the little bandit was, quote, tipsy and trying to escape. Apparently, the only creature more careless than your college age friend after one drink. So one has to ask, does a raccoon have regrets? Maybe. Does it have more swagger than some TikTokers? Probably. So tonight's takeaway, you might find a fortune behind Grandma's lawnmower. Make your bet could qualify you as an Olympic level athleticism, which count me in. And raccoons may be the wild card this year's award show needs. That's it for me out here on the streets. Back to you in Studio T. Thanks, Paul. Maybe next time you'll ask me what my my least favorite chore is. Until next time. Uh Mary Jane was the lady that handed for the 20-something year olds that were in front of us and left because they thought that they were save it. Yeah. We both did the same thing Black Friday morning. I don't know what you did Black Friday. I worked. I actually got up at 400. And I had to work that day. Uh you were also from my government job, but not my household duties. Right, of course. We both went to Lowe's. I was unaware that they did these buckets. The first 50 people in line get a bucket filled with stuff. And in one of those buckets is a$2,000 appliance credit. Yes, you're not gonna not try. So Ange and I went and stood in line, and we got our tickets and we got our buckets. Yeah. Uh Joel and I, who I shout out last episode, met up at Executive Producer Joel and I met up at the local Lowe's at uh well after four. He was he beat me there. Yep. I brought my double XL Stanley Thermos full of coffee, and I met him there. Was it cold for you guys? Yeah, it was in like the mid-30s, I think.
SPEAKER_00Actually mid-20s, mid-30s. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It was below 40 here. I know that. Yeah, it's hot. Oh, that's cold for you guys.
SPEAKER_01You would uh spot out the gators when I was out in water. Yeah, that's the best time to go fishing. For gators. When I can see them.
SPEAKER_02For the 50 people.
SPEAKER_01Which I I did enjoy that part.
SPEAKER_02Um I did enjoy that part too. So once we got our cards, we actually went back to the truck and sat in the warm truck. That's we're not gonna sit out. That's literally what we did. Well, first off, we walked up in line and we I counted, and I was like, well, they're giving buckets out the first 50, and there's less than 20 here.
SPEAKER_01About yeah, below 20. Yeah. I was like, Joel, I got the nice wide rocking beach chairs in my truck right now.
Wrapping With Music, Polls, And CTAs
SPEAKER_02And so we Went back to my truck, grabbed coffees, like refilled our coffees with a thermos. Got back in line. At that point, like three people showed up. So we're like, okay, but we're in the middle. And like there are folks, it was chilly out here. It was cold enough to where I had one hand in my pocket and the other one obviously holding my thermos. Just sitting there rocking in this sweet old beach chair. And Joel was doing the same. Mind you, Joel was wearing the uh the blue and silver, blue and white uh trout stream hoodie the whole time. So showing off advertising for us. Oh, the Saturday XM football shirt. Yes, sir. And then uh obviously both of us had our the new update trout stream stickers on our thermoses, and everybody just staring at us. Uh yeah, but it was a good time. I think it was about like 5 a.m. where for us, somebody, an employee there was like, all right, I'm gonna be going through. I'm gonna be checking, make sure you have the app. I'll make sure you're Lowe's member. And we're like, yeah, obviously it makes sense. Like, you're not gonna not check that. Uh and then they started handing them out. Joel was 30, I was 31, and I went, that's it. Pretty fly for white guy. I'm gonna win. That's a great sign. It is a perfect sign. So we go back to the truck, top off. I had so much coffee. It was I brought my thermos wasn't even full, and it had a whole pot of coffee in there, and there was still room in there. Like another half pot fits in there. Like it's a yeah, man. If you want to go elk hunting with me for three days, I got plenty of coffee. So anyway, we're sitting there and we're like, all right, oh, people are starting to line up, Joel. And it's like the doors open at six, it's like 5 40. We're like, all right, I guess we'll get out of the truck. So we walk up to Lowe's, and there was a bunch of people in line. Well, they did not know that they'd already given out the 50 tickets. They had no idea. No. So a bunch of like they're really a bunch of young girls. They hear free stuff, like JC Penny was giving away stuff, this place was giving out stuff, and there was a bunch of young girls up there, and her friends called her, and you hear them say, Mary Jane, like they already handed out the tickets. It's time for us to leave. And I was like, man, y'all have been standing out here braving this cold for at least a half hour or so. You're not gonna go inside Lowe's, one of the greatest stores ever, just to shop. Nope, they didn't. But the bucket was awesome. The bucket was a good one. No, we would have talked about that on top of the show. We would have talked about first and foremost. We would have talked about that. Before we dive into that, did you see the winners of who got a little bit of a big thing? Yeah, we did see them. They were way ahead of us, though, in line. Like uh, well, I don't know what bucket they got, but she was being very coy, and her face went bright red as Joel and I were opening our buckets and we looked over and we're like. I think she won. And we were right. Yeah, I I saw the people that won, and uh they just look like genuinely good people. So like and then made me happy. Did yours have like confetti or anything for the winner? Yeah, they were setting that up as I was getting out. Like, I don't know if it was stage or what, but I've seen on social media like they had those confetti cannons ready. And I was like, Oh yeah. I mean, I kind of want to win just so somebody shoot a gold confetti cannon at me because that would be awesome. Just random on a Saturday or technically Friday, be like, all right, that'd be awesome. The other cool thing was is uh I think they said, you know, what about a washer and dryer? And she was like, Well, it's only for one appliance, just so you know the rules for next year. It's only for one appliance, but you're in luck. We do so happen to have a two-in-one under$2,000. So I I don't know if it was the manager like making sure that a washer and dryer was in fact available because it's manager's discretion. It said so on the ticket. So, you know what I mean? I wonder if it's one of those things. And you know, tis the season, and regardless, Lowe's, you don't have to do that. No, because I saw somewhere online where like I was looking ahead and it was like uh it's$2,000 in credit for appliances or one appliance up to two grand. So, right, commander's uh commander, manager's discretion. Yeah, they are commanders of the store. Yeah, so it yeah. I mean, like I said, that's all I heard in kind of in passing was a washer and dryer, and she said no, we have a two in one under two grand. So I don't know if that was like the new smart one or what it was. But let's talk about what was in our buckets. First off is the bucket and lift and length. Don't sleep, don't sleep on that. It came with a lid. Uh yeah, I don't have any lids to build my five-gallon buckets. I'm gonna be honest. Not anymore. I got a nice one. Next. I got a hundred-bit set in the bottom of it. I also got the same hundred-bit set as you. Uh Joel Diesel got uh I think a 30 or 40 piece drill bit set with like some regular drill bits, some spade bits. That's crazy. That that same store, different things. I think it was just to entice you to like open it up, see what's really inside, because somebody else had something different than both of us. Really? Because everything I saw looked like everyone looked like they got at our store anyway, they got the 100. Oh, I mean, once again, discretion. There's some another one I saw online where like they had something zip tied to the handle. Like, because the tool wouldn't fit inside. Uh yeah, that makes sense. I mean it's a big bucket. You had a lot of room to put stuff in there.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like D40. In my bucket, there was a WD40 stuff. Little dab stick. 20% off coupon. I forgot to use I didn't even use it. Yep. Forgot it. Did you see the mysteries loaded? I attached mine in. Five bucks. How much? Yeah, when I scanned it and everything, I thought it said 50, and I was like, yes. And then I looked at a double blink to get the dirt out of my eye. I was like, oh, five.
SPEAKER_01Never mind. Makes sense. The Mr. Eraser sample? The like thick guy. Yeah, yeah, the big old thick magic eraser.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know that they seem that thick, honestly. Uh a paintbrush, two good paintbrush. It's a high dollar paintbrush. Is it? I'm very confused. That paintbrushes brushes. I don't really know. Between$10 and$15.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02You know I know that because I usually get the 99 cent ones. Right. Right, yeah. Those are the ones you pick up in the store and go, wow, that's a nice brush.
SPEAKER_00All right, anyway. Uh great stuff, ceiling. Oh, yeah, dude. Spray foam. Yeah. Spray foam?
SPEAKER_02That was an interesting choice. Now the last two things. Because I have two, you only have one. We're gonna fight about this, but we are going to fight about this, even though I have no control over it. Uh it's still one of those. We am myself in Lowe's, not you and I. Yeah, yeah. Okay. In my bucket was a 20-ounce tumbler, which I'm currently drinking out of. It's delicious. It's cold. Yeah. Strategically just been drinking out of it. Uh unintentionally, unironically, actually. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I got one you didn't. I love them. Because Angie and I each got one. So it was so cute to do a little date. I'm in love with my wife. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for being in love with my wife. It was a date morning. Anyway, and then the piece to resistance. Let's I'm gonna take over here because you need to understand something. And this will all tie in. And I think I think it's a perfect way to end the show is by talking about this. I'm becoming a dad. I have been on the search for my dad mug. I have been on the search for a mug that when my daughter looks at it and goes, that was my dad's mug. As of late, I don't know why I've been drinking out of Lowe's makes these little plastic food five-gallon buckets. And I've been drinking my coffee out of that just because I saw it was food safe. And I was like, I'm gonna drink my coffee out of it, just to be funny.
SPEAKER_00It was to make Harry laugh.
SPEAKER_02So I've been drinking out of this thing for two weeks, getting microplastic up, and then I feel this mug in my hand, right? A ceramic mug, and it's wrapped in black bubble wrap, and I can't see it. And I was like, Yeah, what do we have here? And I thought it was just gonna be Lowe's. I thought it was just gonna be like a simple Lowe's sticker slapped on the side. So when I unwrap this thing, and it is a ceramic five-gallon Lowe's bucket with a handle on the side with snowflakes, and it says Lowe's, and the amount of happiness and excitement that ran through me as I found my dad's book. I wanna I want to write Lowe's a personal handwritten thank you card. Yeah, I mean, that's good. Because I I don't know if it's the holiday season or what, but the fact that that happened blew my mind. I didn't even care about the$2,000. I mean, obviously, uh, you know. I mean, you're not gonna not care about$2,000, but it was a little sad. But the consolation of of that moment, I think was pretty good. And then these mugs are so nice. Right. They are. What was your what was your own Joel's experience with them? Because like now you guys got twin mugs. So we went in there and like we're going through the bin or bucket. You open up the thing, like, oh, that's where your 20% off coat coupon is. Like, oh, we didn't win. But oh, what else is in there? And so we were like starting to look. He had to run home, right? He we couldn't hang out all day. He had to run home.
SPEAKER_01Right. But we're looking, we realized we both got mugs. And so we're like, these are gonna be awesome at work.
SPEAKER_02So Sabrina said, uh, she called us both nerds, that she wanted a selfie of us at work Monday drinking coffee out of our mugs. Joel forgot his on Monday, so Tuesday, he came in. First thing he did was like kicks the door down. I'm already sitting at the computer. He's like, get your mug. And so I didn't even like I wasn't even drinking out of that mug. Because I have my normal everyday tumbler. So I poured some in there with cheers, took a picture, we drank, and then I realized it doesn't keep my coffee as hot as my normal, my tumbler I've had an ungodly amount of time, right? Over eight, ten years, I've had the same exact tumbler from chance years and years ago. Same one keeps it warm. I put it in this little mug, it's like a diner mug. Right? It keeps it warm just long enough, but cools it down at the right pace. Boom, I downed that mug. I was like, ooh, all right, so let me top off. Boom, down that one. I was like, ah, it was weird. I was like, I just had two large mugs of coffee. Let me let me get my water bottle here, fill that up with a water fountain, and I'm gonna pour this into my mug to also so I can stay hydrated and rinse my mug out because it's hand wash only. Yes. Boom. Boom. Next thing I know, Harry, I'm pounding these coffee mugs of water, and I'm going, why am I running to the bathroom every 15, 20 minutes? And I've realized I drank almost a half gallon of water at work. Normally, right? I drank a lot of fluids, but not at that fast because it was in that sweet mug. But Joel and I got to experience something that you didn't with the buckets, and this, Harry, is hilarious.
SPEAKER_01These microfilmers are amazing.
SPEAKER_02So Joel and I finally go up there. We get in line. As you're walking in, they're going, all right, everybody who has a ticket, stay to the right. If you don't have a ticket, go inside. And that's when I told you about Mary Jane and her friends. They left. So we get up there, and there's some a guy. It's also weird trying to judge people's ages, right? Someone say, Oh, an older gentleman. But he might have been closer to my age, right? Because I don't want to admit how old I am. Yeah. And I was like, man. So he's between my age and let's say 52, somewhere in that range. He goes up and he's mad. So he runs and just swoops a bucket. Like he's so some Lowe's were letting you pick the which bucket do you want? Which I was like, hey, that's really awesome. Let me choose my own fate. Let me choose my own destiny. Yeah. And then our Lowe's was just hand like they're just going in order here. As the pyramid was going down. That's that's all right. As the pyramid came down, whatever. It didn't matter. This dude came in, takes one, and like the employees go to stop him, like, sir, what are you doing? And he looks and he goes to run. And one employee, head over feet, boop, to stop him. Looking like Clyde Simmons, right? Defensive player to stop them. And the dude pivots, runs to the back of Lowe's to like open this thing. And Joel and I are like, I thought I saw it, but I like didn't have full view of it. Joel did. And he gave me play by play because I saw like certain parts of it. Just because of the crowd. I mean, this dude stole the bucket, had another employee just do something weird, and he runs to the back of the store to open it up. Like, you think he ain't gonna get caught? And that's when Joel and I were like, let's go look at appliances then. Did he think there was like 2,000? He probably thought that there was cash, or he was really mad that he got there at like 5 30, was in line, like, oh sir, you weren't wearing the first 50. I'll show you. We all know the getting my bucket. Yeah. The number one selling album from 1996, Atlantis Moore set. How many songs? Jagged Little Pill. There were 12 songs. Jagged Little Pill. I don't know. Buddy. This has been great. We got all 12 songs in. That album, Harry, I'm surprised, is not higher on our list of like, well, probably started like high selling albums a little late. But everybody I knew in that era had that album or knew all the songs on that album. Oh yeah. Great episode. Great album to jump back in with. 97. I don't know who's ready for that one. You are, obviously. I am. I keep trying to. All right, folks. Be sure to follow us on Facebook at the Trout Stream. We have a page. We have a group. Follow them both. Follow the page. That's where the polls are coming. We're going to put a poll out for our future poll. It's where we're polling a poll, kind of like Inception. Number 96 highest-selling movie of all time. We're going to inception our polls here. You get to pick what the next bracket is. Instagram and Twitter, TroutStream Pod and TikTok. Harry, what are we on TikTok? The old Tic Tac. Follow us. TroutStream Podcast all one word. Leave a rating review on whatever streaming platform you listen to us from. Doesn't matter. Give us a five stars. Give us an honest review. If you have input, give us those inputs. You can shoot us emails. You can shoot us texts. You can reply to us on Spotify, on BuzzSprout. Look, as of right now, we're at 198 followers on TikTok. We get to 200. Boom. Free giveaways. Yeah, there's gonna be some free giveaways. Let's go. The goal is to get to 500 on TikTok by Christmas. So the best way. Harry, the absolute best way to expand trash room. Word of mouth from listeners like you. Tell your friends, family, coworkers, enemies. Harry, who else? Melissa Joan Hart. Tell Clarissa explains it all. Melissa Joan Hart. But your new favorite podcast. Thanks for having tangled. If you need help. And if you need help, reach out. I guarantee someone will listen. Go birds. Go birds.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for listening to Trot Shame. This has been a Hook Brothers production.
