The Trout Stream

#62 DON'T PAINT A DOG AND CALL IT A PANDA

Harry Troutman Paul Troutman Season 1 Episode 62

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Harry Troutman and I, Paul, uncork this conundrum as we both find ourselves new custodians of riding mowers—unplanned and in sync. We’re unspooling our week's thread, weaving in the golden trouts and eels of the sports world, with nods to athletes like the Philadelphia Eagles' Jason Kelce, and the intriguing potential of an undrafted free agent joining the Buffalo Bills. Our offbeat chatter doesn't stop at sports; we take a fanciful foray into the world of racing, whether it's lawnmowers or tillers, proving that our need for speed knows no bounds. 

Hold onto your hats, or should I say helmets, for this whiplash of a journey through the most unusual races and the thrill of witnessing history-making sports moments. We're reminiscing about the nail-biting finishes at the Kentucky Derby and NASCAR, and sharing personal tales from the racetrack of life—including the adventures of manual transmission driving and the curious mix-ups that can happen when you opt for a kids' meal as an adult. And if your competitive spirit is piqued, wait 'til you hear about our "Biggest Pet Peeves" bracket, where our community comes together to air those little irks that unite us in shared exasperation.

But wait, there's more—our stream flows into the wilder currents of life’s oddities, from the questionable choices of a Chinese zoo to the heartwarming mix-up of baby foxes for kittens. As we debate whether drinking 25 glasses of wine during a marathon is a feat of endurance or folly, we also take a playful jab at English breakfast habits and introduce you to the term "glizzy," the latest slang for hot dogs. Our conversation is as varied and vibrant as the colors on a racing car's paint job, and we're inviting you to hop in, buckle up, and enjoy the ride down the Trout Stream.

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Speaker 1:

All right, Harry guy comes up to you, gun to your head, says you had to recite one song word for word, or it's all over.

Speaker 2:

What is your song? Okay, this was a pop quiz. I need a second. What is your song? Oh, this was a pop quiz, I need a second. What is your song? Oh, that's very simple, you ready?

Speaker 1:

Tequila.

Speaker 2:

Okay, okay, bump, dun. Yeah, it's one word. Yeah, all right, I got one. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in C minor.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, Sing it All right Played. That is probably the second best answer you could have given the second best.

Speaker 2:

I knew you were going tequila, so I was like Ooh yeah.

Speaker 1:

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. It is my go-to, no matter what. If it's a challenge, I'd be like, especially when there's a little prize on the line. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Trout Stream. I am Harry Troutman and with me, as always, is my co-host.

Speaker 1:

I am Paul.

Speaker 2:

Troutman. So pick up a pole, cast the line and join us on the stream Today, on episode 62, we will discuss our favorite athletes to wear 62, hand out our golden trouts and eels of the week, get ready to start our biggest pet peeves bracket and, of course, much more To the people joining us for the first time. Welcome to the Trout Stream To everyone else. Welcome back, that includes you, paul. Welcome back to the trout stream, episode 62 62 man, so many things, such great.

Speaker 1:

I can't believe we made 62.

Speaker 2:

There's time I can believe it yeah, there's times when I'm like, wow, we already, we made it to 62. And then there's times I'm like we're only on 62. That's wild to me. I feel like we go through this speech about every 10 episodes or so.

Speaker 1:

No, we do. But it's great for us because every time it's like I don't know it's great. It was 62. I mean, it's like we're the international direct dial calls to Indonesia. We're the international direct dial calls to indonesia. Where are the indonesian numbers this week? 62, oh, I've never been. I saw it on a map once I did just get my passport.

Speaker 2:

Maybe I'll go, maybe let's go. I doubt it anything fun and exciting since the last time we met up.

Speaker 1:

I recently, as of yesterday, purchased, had a new purchase in my household Four wheel machine, new riding mower. Oh, I am living in the present.

Speaker 2:

You know this, but our listeners don't. The last time we spoke, I also bought a new piece of machinery.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, go on With four wheels, A new-to-me riding mower this my favorite part of this and nobody's going to believe it was Harry. No, we did not discuss that each of us were getting new-to-us riding mowers at all. No, I got a Snapchat from. Harry said each of us were getting new to us riding mowers at all.

Speaker 2:

I got a Snapchat from Harry. We'll get it. We'll get into that Snapchat. But yeah, it was just. I don't know if this is one of the coolest things we've ever done, unintentionally, or are we just getting to that age of being old men? Wait?

Speaker 1:

time out. What color is your hat right now? Green. What color is my hat right now? Green. What color is my hat right now? Red. What color is your new mower? Green. What color is mine? Red man. This is why we need to have a YouTube channel. Or even like on our Tic Tac, we'd have a picture of our new mowers behind. Or even, like on our tic-tac, we'd have a picture of our new mowers.

Speaker 2:

Behind I'm a Phillies guy through and through, but I got this. I got an Oakland ace hat, so it was $8 at Ross and it's now. Look at me projecting our new Ross. Look at yeah, I don't even have words right now we're projecting our new riding mowers.

Speaker 1:

This is the most random thing, and I swapped hats out tonight for some reason.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I had my Troutstream hat on. I was like, ooh, I really want to wear the A's, as did I.

Speaker 1:

I had my Troutstream hat on after taking a walk with the girls doing bass in bedtime and I swapped out last minute for this sweet Phil's hat.

Speaker 2:

I wore my Troutstream hat camping a couple of weeks ago and it still has that ever so hint of smoke and not the good. Oh yeah, it smells like campfire. That's great, like that old smoke You're like oh please, that doesn't smoke.

Speaker 1:

Oh, nevermind yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, not the good smoke, the. Oh, can you go take a shower? You stink smoke, yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's thrown. You stink smoke? Yeah, just throw it out the window as you're driving. Throw air out.

Speaker 2:

So that's exciting. We both should need mowers, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Until the time I don't need this anymore. When that time comes, Harry, I am taking the deck off and I'm entering into the Lawnmower Racing League.

Speaker 2:

You have to, you're not going to not have you driven yours on the street yet.

Speaker 1:

I drove it onto the guy I bought off of. I drove around his front yard. I cut some of his grass to make sure it worked. I'll check good. I drove it onto my trailer, off my trailer, into the garage. You're happy with your purchase, Love it so far. Sure it worked. I'll check.

Speaker 2:

Good, I drove it onto my trailer, off my trailer into the garage. Oh, you're happy with your purchase.

Speaker 1:

Love it so far.

Speaker 2:

No issues. Facebook Marketplace right Facebook.

Speaker 1:

Marketplace. We should be spokesmen for that, me too.

Speaker 2:

So Ange was sending me a couple and I was just scrolling through, so, and she was sending me a couple and I was just scrolling through and then one said Honeybrook barn finds. And I was like Honeybrook, I like supporting local people. Yeah, I click on the page and I I find the one I like he had one that was cheaper but it didn't look good. Yeah, so I went with this one and I messaged him and I was talking to him and I was like, hey, heads up, I don't have a trailer before I come look at it for an additional fee, can you deliver it? And he goes oh, dude, don't worry about it. If you like it, I'll deliver it for you. No big deal. I was like, oh sweet, thank you. So he goes, message me tomorrow morning, and this was on a Saturday night and he's mess me tomorrow morning and you can come look at it and I'll send you the address. So he sends me the address. It's a six minute walk, he's around the corner. So I messaged him back.

Speaker 1:

I was like hey man, I'm, if I like it, I'm driving it home, yeah.

Speaker 2:

You're not going to not. So we went and checked it out. It gave me the whole run through, it was raining and we parked at the end of his driveway. I was like, all right, I got to go get the wife so she can take the truck back, and she dropped me off. I hopped on, hit the street, did a wheelie yeah. On a riding mower yeah which is badass.

Speaker 2:

No dude, that's when you do it intentionally. When you don't do it intentionally, a wheelie is probably one of the scariest things you can do on a riding mower. Yeah, a wheelie, anything unintentionally is pretty, pretty terrifying.

Speaker 1:

probably one of the scariest things you can do on a riding mower. Yeah, wheeling anything unintentionally is pretty, uh pretty, terrifying.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I thought for sure I was going backwards. So the street was on like an incline and I dropped down in sixth gear and I let off the clutch and I just went.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, dump that thing and go. So I, I think, at home, pull it into my garage and Ange goes hey, did you mean to pop a wheelie? And I was like, absolutely not.

Speaker 1:

No, you remember Pop's old gray craftsman. I remember the gray and I remember the green. Yeah, I remember the gray one. That's when you hip checked me To cut the grass, cause I told us you and I remember the green, yeah, I remember the gray one. That's when you hip checked me to cut the grass. Oh, because they told us you and I were wrestling over there and they said, the sooner the grass gets cut, the sooner we eat lunch. And then you hip checked me and then pushed me down the hill to use a push mower. But I remember cutting pops grass all the time. I think that's really the only reason we went up there, yeah, yeah all the time.

Speaker 2:

I think that's really the only reason we went up there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, during the summer, I'm pretty sure yeah, yeah, especially when I spent those two weeks with him before. But the back alleyway he had was gravel Mm-hmm and if you lift that deck all the way up, turn the blades off and you put that craftsman in sixth gear and just dump he's down the alleyway and until pop catches you.

Speaker 2:

So pop catches you.

Speaker 1:

That's this, that's a trick, and being five foot five, he saw everything. And you come back in and be like, how's that Willie out there and you're like, how did you know that, like you were, you were at the bar at seven blocks away. But yeah, it was really good time, thanks. Thanks for asking.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if you remember. You go down the street and it was a dead end. But there was a tree down there and there was a little path around the tree. So I'm riding the green one and I'm flying. I'm in 6th gear. I decided to take this turn going way too fast. So I go in. Great, I come in. I'm making the turn. I'm way too fast, oh yeah, so I go in. Great, I come in. I'm making the turn. I'm way too tight. I get clotheslined off the mower by a tree branch like a cartoon. Luckily I had the kill switch on it.

Speaker 2:

Oh, thank God, I think we'll just take it off from you, but it hurt, so it was so fast and it hurt so much.

Speaker 1:

Tree branches of the chest never feels good.

Speaker 2:

It was like the neck too. It was like perfect clothesline.

Speaker 1:

Perfect clothesline, and then they didn't have a kill switch. I'm sorry, fred and Mary, but your fence is gone. What's funny is people probably think we made those names up and we did not.

Speaker 2:

No, fred, and Mary lived next to Pop.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I have a lot of painful memories from that yard. I remember that it was trout season one year we were up Mm-hmm and I had my little. I was young because it was like my Fisher price, my first tackle box type thing, and I put a one ounce weight on my little push button. Oh, zipco, my little Zipco, and I'm just practicing casting and obviously, like I'm a kid and it's super awesome because it's going really far, yeah, and by far I meant like 10 yards. The problem is is that when it hits the ground it would stick in the ground and I would just like yank at it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I was a child so you'd have to excuse me.

Speaker 2:

So I'm reeling and I'm walking and I'm yanking, and this one ounce weight comes, hits me in the head, which is fine I deserve it, whatever, the only thing I didn't deserve is the hook that went through my eyebrow like a piercing, perfectly, yeah, yeah, I cut the line and I went right in the bathroom and I pulled it through and the mom was like what happened? I was like, oh, a weight hit me in the face. I didn't tell her about the hook in the eye, oh, obviously you're not going to tell her that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because then you're not going to go fishing again. And remember, when it's raining fish under the bridge, because fish don't like to get wet no lies detected. You gave me that advice when I caught my very first fish. Yeah, it's true. It was true. One cast, one bite. It was like a three-inch rainbow, doesn't matter it was my first fish.

Speaker 2:

So first I remember we got there one night up to the cabin, I caught a frog, a crawdad, I caught everything in a crawdad, I caught everything in that creek that lives in that creek, but a fish. That night we were doing a little night fishing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Everything but a fish Mm-hmm. So you won NASCAR Pick'ems. Obviously, we recorded, you won. You go first Number 62. What do you got?

Speaker 1:

Thank you to Christopher Bell, number 62. What do you got? Thank you to Christopher Bell 62. Favorite 62. Man, there's several of them out there. Right, you had the Steeler Center back in the day, many Pro Bowls and all pros, not a household name, so he's not going to be my favorite. There's a guy 2000 era Played for the Bears Defensive tackle, number 62. You may know this name, harry A one Bill Murray War, number 62.

Speaker 2:

Groundhog's Day Ghostbusters.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then he ends his acting career by playing defensive tackle for the Bears, which, ironically, Bill Murray's a Chicago guy. The actor, bill Murray's a Chicago guy. This physical specimen of a defensive tackle, also named named, coincidentally, bill Murray played for Chicago, so how fitting is that? That's pretty cool. That is pretty cool, yeah. But looking through the whole list of 62, like four guys have ever worn 62 for the Phillies and it's only been in the last 15 years or so. No big names jumped out at you. I got no big 62 names.

Speaker 2:

You do have one, hmm, and I have one, and it's a respected. We didn't even know how to do this. Do I get it? Do you get it? Who gets this 62? There's only one 62. We talk about him all the time. He's one of our idols, one of our heroes, the one, the only, jason Kelsey. Center for the Philadelphia Eagles the man.

Speaker 1:

First battle, hall of Famer, without question. Yeah, 13 seasons, seasons, six, all pros even if that wasn't enough.

Speaker 2:

What he did for the nfl is oh yeah, you get multiple sources of an nfl exec saying you did more good pr for the nfl than the nfl ever could have spent millions on and coming up with yeah, just good, dude Great. We talk about him all the time. I'm going to miss him. It's our first year without him and it stinks.

Speaker 1:

Do you remember I was home on leave one time it was me, you, dad and Chuck. We went to the Philadelphia Eagles flight night yes, at Lincoln Financial, I don't remember what year that was. Coach Reed was still there.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

So we're looking 12, 13 timeframe. They did the player introductions and I do not forget this because they introduced almost everybody.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And they were going through and they got to the linemen and were like all right, here we go. This is a sausage factory, this is where the sausage is made. Everybody wants to see the running backs run, the quarterbacks throw, but nobody wants to really focus At the time, focus on your linemen in the mix of it. And you and I with our history, like all right, who's coming out? And they were calling out some linemen and then they said number two, jason Kelsey. Like all right. And then, but they called the guy they called before him. He's out there just walking fist pumping everybody.

Speaker 1:

They called Jason Kelsey and he sneaks up on the other guy, jumps on his back, acts like he's slitting his throat, like hunting a hog, goes down and pretends a hog time and I just look down there. You and I were talking, we're sitting next to each other man that right there. I like that feel. It was a flight night or fight night, whatever it was called. It was like the last practice of the preseason and it's just a fundraiser. It was like $20 a ticket and every single seat in that stadium was the same price Big fundraiser event. I remember watching that and looking back and seeing how he is now it's mind-blowing. It really is.

Speaker 2:

I remember questioning why he was even an eagle. Yeah, I'll admit it.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad he's an eagle. He's retiring an eagle. Only played on one team.

Speaker 2:

He'll be an eagle forever.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, in my heart he will be.

Speaker 2:

So I saw something pretty cool today, me. I saw something else that was pretty cool today. What was that? The Bills have a rookie undrafted free agent they signed. You know what his name is Turd Ferguson Eaton Bills. Now he's a guard, so what number do you think he'll be wearing? It's not 62 eaten bills is his first name eaten k like michael keaton. Oh, best batman ever bills.

Speaker 1:

Michael Keaton oh, best Batman ever, Bills. They're going to give him number one.

Speaker 2:

They gave him number. He chose number 60. When did the Bills organization start Shut up? 1960. 1960, so his jersey is literally Bills 60. That's radical.

Speaker 1:

That is awesome man. I hope he becomes to start in a legend up there. He has to, he's automatically a legend?

Speaker 2:

yeah, it's.

Speaker 1:

He's already went through three tables, I think what are the odds of him going to the bills? You know, I mean like that, like there's not too many guys. Last name of e no unfortunately not or. Giants. Thank goodness let's stick with the theme of 62. Harry, I'm going to go with my draft picks here. I got three from the NFL 2017 wide receiver out of USC Going to the Pittsburgh Steelers Juju Smith-Schuster.

Speaker 2:

Who's split on the Pirate Pirates Wrong Pittsburgh team Harry. He was on the Steelers Chiefs. Where's he at now Patriots?

Speaker 1:

Patriots really. Actually, you weren't really wrong, because the Pittsburgh Steelers used to be referred to as the Pittsburgh Pirates. Ooh, I did not know that that was before they were the Steagals wrong because the Pittsburgh Steelers used to refer to as the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Speaker 2:

Ooh, I did not know that. That was before. They were the Steagals. That is actually anginized. If we have to come up with a team name for an escape room, we go with the Steagals.

Speaker 1:

You're not going to not.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, she's from Pittsburgh. I'm from the Philadelphia area.

Speaker 1:

It makes no sense, right.

Speaker 2:

I was super proud of that when I came up with it.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile, when we do an event and we come up with a team name, it's all one word Paul Tremblay is the greatest.

Speaker 2:

Nice, very modern, very modest. Yeah, I'm very humble. Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with that as long as the letter count is there.

Speaker 1:

If not, we're team A-OK, a-ok, that's a lie. We're team props now. P-r-o-p-s For Piper, reagan, olivia, paul and Sabrina.

Speaker 2:

Props. That's good. Yep, you're welcome. Buddy, you might want to stop having kids. You're going to run out of name options. Well yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's a good idea. Going back to draft picks, how about 2014? New England Patriots selected Jimmy Garoppolo.

Speaker 2:

What an interesting case Jimmy G is to me. Is he good, is he not good? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

No one knows he was good in New England because he looks great. He looked good in New England because of Tom Brady. He gets booted to San Fran. Look decent in San Fran, but not great, yes Cause. Then Trey Lance came in. He also got hurt. So that led to Brock Purdy, mr Irrelevant, being great. If Jimmy G never got hurt, we wouldn't have Brock Purdy, the Niners would not be NFC Championship, super Bowl bound.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

Not at all If Brock Purdy probably got cut. Yes.

Speaker 2:

It's so weird. And again, I don't know if Jimmy G is a good quarterback, where is he now?

Speaker 1:

He went from the Niners to the Raiders.

Speaker 2:

Because it's Minshew Mania For the Raiders now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, minshew Mania, and he's on the Rams as a backup Wow, behind Stafford. So good luck getting any playing time there. But my next draft pick had no worries about playing time in 2002. And to Harry, the Pittsburgh Steelers selected Antoine Randall L Wide receiver.

Speaker 2:

I only know him from the Redskins Commanders Washington football team.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think the Steelers were the ones that drafted him and I know he was a Steeler for a while because he was a big Ben.

Speaker 2:

But then between Washington and Pittsburgh, Washington is the one team in our division. I don't hate with every fiber of my being Nope Actually sidebar.

Speaker 1:

New guy at work comes in. One guy retired new guy comes in. Guy who left was a Cowboys fan. He said good riddance, peace out, homie. I replaced one to get one, and so I have another Cowboys fan in the office.

Speaker 2:

Well.

Speaker 1:

That is what it is, though they understand. Is he from Texas at least? Yeah, both of them were from the Dallas area. Oh, alright, so full credit. I just dislike them because they're Cowboys fans. Yeah, we all agreed that Giants are. As long as the Giants lose, forever we're happy and Washington is going to be the biggest threat Underdog threat, okay, not dominant. They're going to sneak in because they have a pretty solid lineup. We're talking about a solid lineup. How about this one, harry? Mlb number 62 overall selection in the 2003 MLB draft. We're talking about Billy Bean. Moneyball era.

Speaker 1:

The Oakland Athletics select Andre Ethier, typical A's fashion. He was drafted by the A's, had a promising prospect time in minors and then gets traded because, as everybody knows, a prospect time in minors. And then gets traded because everybody knows the A's organization is pretty much the minor leagues for the entire major league Career batting average of 285, 162 home runs, so 687 RBIs. I remember him as a Dodger and he was that guy that was always just there Like you need a hit, andre Ethier's got you. And he's really known for his defense and he's a Dodger, so he has that punchable face. That helps, yeah. But here's an interesting factoid, harry. September 8th 1998. 62 was a big number that day. I've been waiting for this Mark McGuire hits number, home run number 62 in the regular season To become the home run king To be short-lived for six years.

Speaker 2:

In baseball.

Speaker 1:

Love it.

Speaker 2:

Love it. I am, coming around to it, I am. It's like crab cakes and football, what Crab cakes.

Speaker 1:

And football is what Maryland does, oh.

Speaker 2:

I was like where are you going with that dude?

Speaker 1:

Steroids and baseball. That's what America loves. Yeah, should be. Yeah, bro. I just watched a highlight of Frank Thomas in the 94 All-Star Game Home run. Derby Hit a jack to the fourth deck. Oh, on a line drive, oh, no pop. Rewatch the 1997 Home Run Derby.

Speaker 2:

Disgusting.

Speaker 1:

In the best way possible. The bats they used you remember that bright red bat we had, like that plastic bat. Yeah, they were swinging wood bats that were shaped like that. Oh, larry Walker had one of the nastiest, biggest, fattest bats I've ever seen. Don't rewatch random stuff like that. If it's on, I'm like what is going on. That bat was nasty.

Speaker 2:

Oh man, yeah, Number 62, nascar. Again, I feel like we haven't covered the numbers in NASCAR, just because they're not great. Nascar numbers yeah, but the 62 has 333 races. That's impressive. What's even more impressive One win. Oh okay, all right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, is it? Are these numbers around? Yeah, but are? Do they add anything to the show?

Speaker 1:

really no, they don't 62 is not a well-known number, right? It's not sexy, it's not glorious, but Beard Motorsports, a small time team in NASCAR, they're mainly a super speedway team. I remember Brendan gone use the race for them. So, like you would see, like at a Talladega or the Daytona race the 62 and they always sponsor by South point.

Speaker 2:

Cause. I think somehow like they're related to it. But yeah, I see it. I see it in in my NASCAR heat five, yes, 62, South point related to it. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I see it in my NASCAR Heat 5. Yes, 62, south Point car. Yeah, yeah, now it's this past year was Anthony Alfredo which, if that's not an Italian name, I have no idea Ant-ny Alfredo, tony Alfredo, yeah, it's either Tony or Ant-ny, because the H is gone, the H and O is just Antony. I remember Brendan gone. There was a Talladega race or Super Speedway race where he was up front. You're like who are you and where have you been? And then he had a bad wreck where his car went airborne and he talked afterwards I went for a good ride. Hey, mom, I'm okay.

Speaker 2:

Don't worry, mom, I'm okay, everything's cool.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but with that beard motorsports. If Brennan gone would have won race. Your next question is just what if he won?

Speaker 2:

We'll never know.

Speaker 1:

We will never know.

Speaker 2:

Again, you're what? On a two-win streak now, buddy? Oh, I'm catching fire right now. We were at kansas and let's stop, because I was going to go right into our pickums, but I we got to talk about it we got to talk about it.

Speaker 1:

We have to talk about the. I got this is a golden trout, I'm going to talk about it. We have to talk about the. I got this as a golden trout, I'm going to talk about it. Yeah, yeah, throw it in there. Two great races this weekend, two phenomenal, excellent, exuberant, fill-in-your-adjective finishes Literally both by a nose. Yes, sabrina and I were at the dinner Saturday night celebrating our anniversary, a month late due to work and everything. Look if we couldn't record. We're not going on a date or vice versa, but we're watching the Derby. Buy a nose Sunday.

Speaker 1:

I'm at home, got the game, the race streaming and I'm watching it and all of and also it comes down to the end, literally inches less than inches. You and I were texting during that. It was like did we just witness what we think we just witnessed? Yes, as in, we had Atlanta earlier this year, which was like the second to third closest race to ball time Finish, mm-hmm. Atlanta doesn't take as much talent as Kansas. Kansas is a .001 difference. Like what? Literally inches. It was so close that the 17 team was celebrating as his car crossed the finish line. Just for NASCAR it was. Mrn went to go interview the 17's crew chief. As everybody heard on the radio, nascar go five is the winner. We're no longer going to interview you.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to play with you anymore.

Speaker 1:

The crew chief, at least, was accepted. I understood Okay, cool, he beat me, it beat me. It happens but door slamming. You gave Kyle Larson that the top line.

Speaker 2:

I talked about my buddy Kyle, how he went to Dover and he we were texting during the race and then at the end we both stopped texting each other because it was that good, yeah, and then finally he goes. I'm speechless and I was like what is life? It was the closest finish in NASCAR history.

Speaker 1:

In 76, technically this year, 76 years of history Never been this close. And there's some people outraged saying that the start-finish line is crooked or it's all in favor of Lark. Whatever. It was no man, that was a good race, it was a great race. There's even some people saying that there should be 36 races held at Kansas because it was that good, I'll sign up for it.

Speaker 2:

It's good for the mile and a half track, though that's a dying track in NASCAR. I love it. People either won short super speedway or road courses, but where do we stand? What are the points after that amazing race at Kansas?

Speaker 1:

Oh right, so I have five wins to your seven. After 12 races, I have 332 points to your 359.

Speaker 2:

Let's go Now, before you make your pick, because you go go first this week, I do want to throw something by you to give us a little more incentive. $1,000 for the. No, I'm just kidding. Oh okay, we tend to do races where we have to burn a driver right. So instead of that happening, or to try to discourage and try to get you to win, what if your driver wins the race? You get 10 bonus points.

Speaker 1:

Oh, for our overall race points for the year. Yes, you get the win. Okay, twofold On my tracker. If your driver wins, you get an asterisk Right and you'll get 10 bonus points at the end of the year. Yes, I won't add the bonus points in until the end of the year. Okay, so the asterisk is going to keep me remembering, but also, that is tiebreaker. Okay, there's 26 races in regular season. If we were somehow end up 13, 13, we're going to have to do it. A race win Whoever has won the most races. I'm 100% in Love it.

Speaker 2:

Love it, love it, love it. So you go first. Who are you going with at Darlington? It is throwback week.

Speaker 1:

Because it's throwback week, and those that don't know throwback week in NASCAR is they go back to old school paint schemes, some that we grew up with, some we loved. We discussed this right. We discussed some of our favorite paint schemes. I'm going with one of my top three favorite paint schemes of all time. I'm going to chase Elliot. And then number nine, dale and Hart jr Throwback, I'm pulling it out early, harry, I did not see that coming.

Speaker 2:

See, the initiative helps. The win. The race initiative really made you pull out your big guns. We said it two weeks ago when we found out what this car was going to be during the throwback race. I said I don't necessarily want to, but I have to use them. And that is Kyle Larson. I'm hoping for two wins in a row, but he's got the Terry Labonte Kellogg's paint scheme in the five car. See, that's the other thing that's pretty sweet about this is it's five. So it's not like the font matches and all that. It's obviously sponsorship changes, which is fair. I think it'd be super dope if we can start getting sponsors back for a race. The font matches and all that Obviously sponsorship changes, which is fair. I think it'd be super dope if we can start getting sponsors back for a race. But yes, I'm going, kyle Larson in the five Kellogg's themed Chevrolet.

Speaker 1:

I had that written down already.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I said it after the after. It was like what two weeks ago I was like dude, just write it down, just write it down, you use. Kyle said it after the after. It was like what, two weeks ago I was like dude, just write it down, just write it down.

Speaker 1:

You use kyle, you can't use them I. So I was updating the show, our tracker, today and I was like man, I should just type the five in there. If I didn't type yours in there, obviously I'm gonna put mine in there, because you can't take mine right, because I go first, because I won again. Well, well, you get it Cause.

Speaker 2:

moving on, you mentioned earlier about the amazing races we had this weekend. The close finishes we had at both the Kentucky Derby and a NASCAR. It's a great weekend for racing. 150th Kentucky Derby that's crazy. And a bigger accomplishment no horses died this year. Oh, bravo. Way to go. Kentucky Derby, I got one. And it's crazy. There's an airport in Japan near Osaka called the Kensei International Airport Airport code. I like the airport code. It's K-I-X. Kix, cereal Kix.

Speaker 1:

Great cereal. Very good, I rate it. The girls love it, it's great.

Speaker 2:

They haven't lost a single piece of luggage since September of 1994.

Speaker 1:

20 or 30 years ago. 30 years ago.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, 29. 29?, 30? Yeah, it hit 30 years ago. It will be 30 in September. Duh, let's do some math here. They're planning their 30th. Yeah, it will be 30 in September.

Speaker 1:

Duh, let's do some math here. They're planning their 30th anniversary 30 years without losing a bag.

Speaker 2:

Without losing a bag.

Speaker 1:

That's impressive.

Speaker 2:

Now imagine if you're the one to lose a bag.

Speaker 1:

I can guarantee you every airport within the United States. Can't go 30 days, I would say three. You're being generous, I'm being very generous. I was sticking with the 30 theme, but yeah, you're right, they can't go 30 days without losing a bag, three days without losing a bag. An international airport, tony Japan, is ahead of us.

Speaker 2:

Japan is way ahead of us. Now here's you know what our luck would be right. We'd for some reason have to go to Osaka and we would lose our luggage. We would be the first people in 30 years to lose luggage. No, that'd be us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Like our face would be posted everywhere.

Speaker 2:

Do you have any other golden trust? I just thought that was way cool, man. I thought that was very golden 29 years of golden service and golden showers what's wrong.

Speaker 1:

Do you know what a golden shower is?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's when you do really good. Okay, yeah, angie asked me all the time. She's like, hey, do you want to do? You want a golden shower for for doing your responsibility? And I'm like, yeah, why and she praises me and it's really okay, good for you.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna take a little break here, harry. We talked about racing already. We went to Kansas, we went to Kentucky.

Speaker 2:

Hold on, I'm dying, oh my god.

Speaker 1:

I'm about to piss myself. I'm just laughing.

Speaker 2:

I just got a light at it. That is staying in the shower. Oh man, you just started talking. I can't breathe yeah.

Speaker 1:

I just Okay, moving on. Well, reagan has his fucking eyelash comb thing that I just sit here and play with because it has a cap. You can get rid of it. All right, break. Thanks for that. I was talking about racing, harry. We went to Kentucky Derby on Saturday, the 150th running in Kentucky. We were in Kansas on Sunday for NASCAR.

Speaker 1:

Harry, have you ever heard of Tiller Racing? No, right, me neither. Talking to a buddy at work, no Right Me, neither. Talking to uh buddy at work, yeah, talking about getting a new riding mower. I found one on Facebook marketplace to run more for free.

Speaker 1:

So my standard message was hey, does it run, does it cut? And he goes oh, it runs, it does not cut because there is no deck, no blade deck, hmm. And I looked at Sabrina. I was like dang, that's a good looking mower. And it said free, so it was within my price range. And she said why wouldn't it have any blades on there? And I was like probably for racing, right lawnmower race. So I'm at work telling everybody like man, I really want to get racing now. And he goes have you heard of tiller racing? So of course, I've looked it up and yes, tillers like that farmers use for their gardens to till their land. People soup them up and race them. How you're running behind it. Oh, I'm out, hold on tight. Now I did see one. There's a picture kind of like there's a platform on it with somebody standing on it. Mm-hmm, how much horsepower is a tiller making that is going to pull you that fast? That's wild. My second question is what farmer came up with this sport so he can get his field tilled really fast?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that was just out of necessity. Okay, I really need to get it. You know what? Maybe if I put a new exhaust on it. Yeah, maybe if I bore out the heads a little bit.

Speaker 1:

What if I put a turbo?

Speaker 2:

on it. Now you're cooking with gas, dude man, that's beautiful. I did find out that the like the BMW, like you, sit up right on them.

Speaker 1:

The baggers a tour the touring bikes I got they've raced those.

Speaker 2:

Nah, they look like obviously they're souped up race bikes, but Okay, they had the bags on them and the big run on them, and it's so weird. I saw a video this weekend.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to tell you right now I said this at work and I'll say it here If it has an engine and wheels, it will be raced yeah, by someone. We'll figure it out.

Speaker 2:

I'll figure out how to race it or bet on it, woody. I want to introduce a new segment. It's been a while since we introduced something new. It has a great name Harry's Helpful Hints. Triple H, copyright WWE. Anyway, I was. We recently moved offices. I'm in a new town and I don't know where the hidden gems are yet. For lunch, obviously, you got your Wawa, you got your Subway, you got your McDonald's, but I wasn't. I didn't want anything from Wawa, but I wasn't that hungry. Do you know what I got?

Speaker 1:

six inch town hoagie a bag of hers plain chips and a Wawa tea.

Speaker 2:

No, I went to McDonald's. Oh, you know what my order was Two of you.

Speaker 1:

Patty, special sauce, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Speaker 2:

I got a six piece kids chicken nugget kids meal. Oh okay, it was like six bucks and it was just a perfect amount of food.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Did you eat your apple slices? I got extra fries. Oh smart move.

Speaker 2:

Apple slices give me a little PTSD and I'll explain it to words. But my helpful hint is, as an adult, you're allowed to eat kids' meals. Yeah, they're cheap, they're just enough food and you get a free toy Done Although toys have gone way downhill, oh, they have. So the reason why I don't eat McDonald's apples this has nothing to do with McDonald's or their apples. It has everything to do with me, our nephew Charlie. He was young and I got him a kid's meal and that was like when they first started doing the apples, yeah, so he didn't want them. Naturally, he's a kid eating McDonald's. He doesn't want apples. I was like all right, I'll eat your apples. I I hate eating McDonald's. He doesn't want apples. I was like all right, I'll eat your apples.

Speaker 2:

I see the little green sauce with the green apples. Peel that lid back. I look at it and I go, I think I gave you a caramel dipping sauce for your apples, mcdonald's, you're going crazy, yeah. So what do I do? I take it. I open the apples, I take a big old scoop, take that good crisp bite of the apple and I'm chewing. I'm go, this is not good at all. That's because it was sweet and sour sauce. So I've not eaten a McDonald's apple since then. That still sticks with me a lot. I've not eaten that or sweet and sour sauce since then. Listen, their sweet and sour sauce is great. Eating that or sweet and sour sauce and send, listen, their sweet and sour sauce is great. But when you're expecting caramel, yeah, and you get sweet and sour sauce, trust me, it's a lot more sour than sweet, yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's not really a sweet emotion in there. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Not at all, not a fan. So we put up we talked about it last episode, we already put it up Biggest pet peeves Is there going to be our new bracket. It's going to be a good one. So we talked about it in the middle of the show, right, obviously, I added that boring stuff out and I said hey, listen, even if we get 16, we'll do a little 16 bracket. Little nice, easy, bada, bing, bada, boom. You know what I mean. We're up to 60. Some odd comments, some of them repeat, of course, but there is more than I've seen in a long time for our brackets.

Speaker 1:

This has been like the biggest one we've gotten so far. It's crazy. Not so far, but in a while right, biggest engagement and I have some favorite comments to this Right. So I haven't even built a bracket yet. We've discussed possibly having this come out in 63. I'm going to need some time, like we thought we were back, but the very first comment we got was how many can we list?

Speaker 2:

I knew then this was going to be a game changer and I said as many as you want, I'm not going to limit.

Speaker 1:

You just make it separate comments. That's all I care about. But we're going to review Harry. Just a few of them. I'm not going to put all of them that we're going to use. Oh man, I'm already getting mad thinking about it. But go ahead, because I have an algorithm I got to do in my head of. Really it's just copy and paste to a word document and take that word document to a randomizer. As long as I got 32, go to my randomizer, hit that five times. By the way, I do everything. Five, really. I don't know why. It's an odd number. Yeah, everything else in my life is even, but if I want it random, I'll do it. Odd number times.

Speaker 2:

I think that makes sense.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, here's a common one. A lot of it is doing driving Left lane drivers.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Can't stand it. People who don't use their turn signals, people that put LOL in every message that was me I submitted that one, yeah, I know, lacking personal hygiene was big here. People who are always late. Also, it's called Harry. I don't know what that means. Personal space.

Speaker 2:

I'm always on time.

Speaker 1:

I'm always on my time Traveling time. Yeah, this one here, people that give shot glasses as souvenirs when they come back from vacation. That's a good one that is.

Speaker 2:

That just upsets some people, but you know who you are. Yeah, I know you got that in the airport.

Speaker 1:

What about this BO at Comic-Cons? I don't know which one of our listeners would put anything about Comic-Cons in there, mark, or the inconsistency of X-Files episodes? Very specific Mark Six-sided dice. Wait, what about six-sided dice? That's his pet peeve. Six-sided dice yeah, x-files 7. All right, there-sided dice yeah, I guess he went seven. All right, there's a few of them. I'm just going to skip over People who don't allow for the zipper on the road. Just because you sat in the line eight miles ago doesn't mean I have to.

Speaker 1:

That is something that I've recently come to in the last few years going. Why am I sitting all the way back here when I can just pass 47 cars and called zipper, let me in. Here's a good one here. I could say a lot, but how about the people that can't say please and thank you? Hate it. Piper is 16 months old and has said thank you, yeah, she says that it was pretty cute, even thanks, hate it. Piper is 16 months old and has said thank you, yeah, she said today it was pretty cute, even thanks, yep.

Speaker 1:

Oh, here's a good one, harry. This one's going to cause some debates. People who can't seem to be bothered to take their cart to the corral in the parking lot.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if it's a pet peeve of mine.

Speaker 1:

I think you're trash. Oh, I'm saving that one. Once again we have more left lane. We might have 65 comments, but like 30 are left lane. This one here, chewing ice humming while eating, dragging your feet as you walk. Solid one here is pronouncing the L in salmon was that Miss Morgan's comment?

Speaker 2:

yes, she, her and I worked together and she came up to me and we started talking about pet peeves and I was like I was. I commented under her post and I was like, listen, that is legit making my skin oil. I used to work at the Pathmark Seafood Counter. Her post and I was like listen, that is legit making my skin Oil. I used to work at the Pathmark seafood counter when I was younger and when someone ordered Solomon, I did not want to serve them.

Speaker 1:

No, you became like a faceless man, didn't even want to look at him. No, yeah, cause, like when you say that L like something inside us all, just I was cover a few more. I'm not gonna cover all of them a few more.

Speaker 2:

Here's a great one group text that's not a necessity in life anymore. Yeah, but it's still but I feel like that's not a necessity in life anymore. Yeah, but it's still pet peeve. I also realized that I'm never going to use the group text that we have with someone. Yeah, I was like alright, cool, I get it.

Speaker 1:

I understood people who chew with their mouths open, ooh, people that hold up a long line of traffic because they don't know where they are or going. So there's a lot of A lot of traffic, a lot of traffic. Ones in here, oh, this one here, harry, this one's going to get you. People that clap when the airplane lands. Get off of the airplane. Yeah, can we leave?

Speaker 2:

Get away from me. I had places to be Either my vacation or my home.

Speaker 1:

Right, I'm going to add that to that one. Right, I might just add in there People that clap at the end of a movie.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, no one's there to witness it. Stars, director, cast, crew doesn't matter. No one's there. No one's at your local movie theater watching it for the first time.

Speaker 1:

I just put it on there right now. That was my comment, so get ready. I got some work ahead of me. Harry, you do Again. I almost feel that, no, don't. No, you got a lot of editing to do, but don't feel bad. I, I don't know, you got a lot of editing to do, but don't feel bad.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm going to get this bracket going. Yeah, no, I was talking about the size of it. I thought it was going to be a nice, easy, quick bracket for you, because you do all the bracket work, and I was like, yeah, a little 16 jobby. Yeah, a little 16. People on the internet like to be negative, so I love it, though we may have found something here.

Speaker 1:

We have 16, like good beer. I can finish that pretty quick, but 32, we'll make it fun. It will make it fun. That's about the size of two normal beers.

Speaker 2:

so yeah, you got this. It's fun, it's great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, biggest pet peeves right, Pet peeves sometimes are. They're not're not great. No, some of them can be downright disgusting, like an eel. Harry, it's that time. Boom music going on behind us.

Speaker 1:

It is time for eels of the week, and I got one. This one goes out to you, the St Louis Cardinals. The Cardinals catcher, wilson Contreras, has his arm broken, left arm broken. Oh, as catching Mets player goes to swing, they hit the ball, hits Wilson Contreras' left arm and fractures it. I've seen the slow-mo. He's out for a while but reading about it, the Cardinals coaching staff had him slide forward closer to the plate. So those low breaking balls he can grab and boop, peg him in. He can paint them into the strikes a little better. So then, moving him up a few inches, literally put his arm in harm's way as his 38, 32 ounce bat, howard Bates comes right through the strike zone, boom, breaking his form. So instead of having your pitchers actually hit the strike zone, you're trying to play the system. Playing the system gets your all-star catchers arm broken. What trash. So, st Louis Cardinals, be checking your inbox here soon. Trust us, you don't want to leave the eel in your mailbox for too long, because it will get bad.

Speaker 2:

I had one fall under my desk and it took me weeks and I was like what is that smell? I thought it was just me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, sometimes I don't shower for a while.

Speaker 2:

No, I just thought like I was smelling things in my head and it was my imagination. Speaking of disgusting, I see a trend going around, and there's plenty of trends that call disgusting, but this one is pretty disgusting. People are going to Sonic, one of my favorite restaurants, one of my favorite fine dining establishments.

Speaker 1:

It's pretty fine.

Speaker 2:

Putting pickles in their Dr Pepper Disgusting, actually, it fits the description of our eels. You ready? Disgusting Slimy Yep. It gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. Got it? Check, check, that's an eel, that's pickles and Dr Pepper Doesn't sound good at all. Nah, I like pickles, pickles, pickle Flavored cashews. The other day, 10 out of 10. Can't wait to go back to Wawang and get another bag. I like pickles, pickles, pickle flavored cashews. The other day, 10 out of 10. Can't wait to go back to Wawa and get another bag. But pickles in my Dr Pepper? That's disgusting.

Speaker 1:

I'm out In the last few years I would say last five years or more pickles have really skyrocketed. Yes, dill pickles especially. You got dill pickle chips and every kind Hers Lay's Fruits. Yes, dill pickles, especially. You got dill pickle chips and every kind Hers lays. I don't know what other kind of chips there are. Harry Martin's Great Value Everybody's got their own dill pickle flavored chips. Yeah, you have dill pickle flavored seeds. You have nuts covered with dill pickle flavoring. There's probably dill pickle beer out there. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. I'll try it. I'm not going to. I'll put it in my app, but it just seems like everybody's going pickles.

Speaker 2:

Everyone is going pickles, but again, I'm okay with it. Yeah, my wife loves pickles and pickled flavored things and all that, but If I see her put a pickle in a Dr Pepper, we might be an old-timey fisticuffing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're not going to be accepting her with arms wide open. Not at all.

Speaker 2:

With arms wide open. Buddy, that's enough weird news, let's move on. Buddy, that's enough weird news, let's move on. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for America's favorite segment, pwn. Paul's Weird News here is your host, paul.

Speaker 1:

Hello Harry, this is Paul, out here on the streets with your weird news of the week. I've only got two right. I want to keep this one simple. I want to keep this one easy, harry you've ever been to a zoo before? Yeah, I've been to a zoo. Yeah, we've been together. So you can't lie to me on that one. Ron Burgundy actually been to a zoo in the 70s reporting Pandal. Right, it was him and Veronica Corningstone. All the other news anchors were out there. Right, they're fighting over seeing the birth of a panda. Harry, where do pandas come from? China, china. So explain to me why a zoo in China sparked an all out panda ammonium, to me, why a zoo in China sparked an all-out panda ammonium and there was a discovery that their pandas were actually just chow dogs painted black and white.

Speaker 2:

Chow, chows and pandas don't even look alike. Nope, they said hey, we bleached a brown bear, alright, I get it. We bleached a brown bear, all right, I get it.

Speaker 1:

Black bear bleached some of them. Sure how chow Yep.

Speaker 2:

Big old furry chow. Wait, I thought pandas were no longer endangered. Can't you just go out and find one, isn't that how?

Speaker 1:

it works. Yeah, you figure they'd go to their native country and find them.

Speaker 2:

Native country.

Speaker 1:

Go in your backyard Of China. Yeah, they were in China. So their native country. Hey man, what's up? There should be some out here. Yeah, zoo officials Trimmed their mane and dyed their faces black To look like pandas, and then they put these panda dogs on display in an enclosure every day from 8 to 5.

Speaker 2:

They had to clock in and clock out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the dogs had to clock in and clock out, but, like how they don't have like thumbs or anything like that, like, how are they going to eat bamboo? Yeah, what are y'all doing? How long did they try to do this? Oh, it lasts like a week, if that. Okay, yeah, that's fair. We don't have any panda bears, so we're just trying to do this as, like a result. Hey, come to us, we have pandas over here. Oh, yeah, and it turns out no, they're just dogs, just dogs. But here's the rationale, harry they accuse them of animal cruelty. Visitors are like oh, it's animal cruelty. And their rationale were people also dye their hair. Natural dye can be used on dogs if they have long fur. So, even though this is PWN, this is also part of the eels.

Speaker 1:

Okay, y'all are trash For sure Y'all are trash Enough about them. I'm going to stop bashing China Also PWN. How China isn't everything, harry right, china finds its way to infiltrate just about everything. They have infiltrated my garden. I have a tree growing in my garden right my raised garden bed I have I've had for a few years now.

Speaker 1:

As a matter of fact, I have I've had it for a few years now. As a matter of fact, I have 22 tomato plants growing. Heck, I did not plant 22 tomato plants, so I think seeds from last year. So in the fall you clean your garden out, right, because your seeds from last season settle in. And I had this stick look like the stalk of something growing. I was like I'm going to leave it. I don't know what it is. I'm curious. I couldn't tell if it was a weed or not, because weeds aren't really. This was like legit stalk of something and I started getting leaves. So I took a picture of it via the Google app, right A picture to tell you what it is. It told me it's a Chinese something tree native to Asia. And I said that's weird. I'm not in Asia, I'm in the United States of America. So I was like maybe it's just a bad picture. So I've been going back once a week taking pictures. No, it's a Chinese tree Native to China.

Speaker 2:

How did it end up at your house?

Speaker 1:

China was infiltrating my garden. I'm pretty sure that there are microphones in there and they're listening in right now as we record, because they're fearful of our podcast. Either that or the dirt came from China and somehow a seed wound up in there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's fair, but.

Speaker 1:

China's in everything. They're in my garden. They're right next to my tomatoes.

Speaker 2:

I'm sorry you're dealing with that buddy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right next to my brandywine Pennsylvania heirloom tomatoes and my Cherokee purples. Gonna be so good, though I can't waitokee purples. Gonna be so good, though I can't wait. I'm gonna have so much salsa this year. But my last little bit of weird news, harry, have you ever seen baby pigeons? No, have you ever seen pigeons out in the wild in this streets? No, I'm not talking about like in major city, where the populace is. Let's go upstate, right where the cabin is.

Speaker 1:

You're seeing a pigeon out there in the woods yeah, I can't say I haven't yeah, pigeon in like central US where there's not a lot of people but there's not even pigeons near my house.

Speaker 2:

you know why? Because we domesticated US, where there's not a lot of people, buddy there's not even pigeons near my house.

Speaker 1:

You know why? Because we domesticated pigeons before telephones. So listeners think of this. Why is New York City known to have so many pigeons? Philly, pittsburgh, st Louis I don't know about St Louis, really, but your major cities have pigeons Because pre-telephone pigeons were domesticated. The mess just rolled up real nice and neat, put it in their pouch and said hey, buddy, go send this over to Bill at 241 East 2nd Street. And then, once telephones came around, people stopped caring about pigeons. So they're domesticated animals that don't know how to take care of themselves, that generations later depend on humans to take care of them.

Speaker 2:

Then we should really take care of them. That's wild.

Speaker 1:

It's sad it is. But then when I think of pigeons I think of that's wild, sad it is. But then when I think of pigeons I think of Animaniacs with the good pigeons, which is a knockoff of Goodfellas, and it's hilarious.

Speaker 2:

It is hilarious yeah can we domesticate them that much?

Speaker 1:

they don't even know how to survive so, like natural instinct, the killer instinct is gone out.

Speaker 2:

Wow, I think that's what our wives are trying to do to us.

Speaker 1:

But I'm free spirit. We excited about riding mowers.

Speaker 2:

We are. Yeah, yeah, maybe their plan is working. I think it is. I know they were texting each other the other night. They were probably coming up with a new scheme, probably. Hey, is this last one working? Not really, let's try something new. He keeps sending me slot machines on Facebook Marketplace. I keep telling him no.

Speaker 1:

You're not trying hard enough. But that's it for me, out here on the streets, here with PWN, back to you with Studio T. What are you ready to pack it up? You know what? I think it's that time.

Speaker 2:

What is the last marathon you ran?

Speaker 1:

Physically ran zero. Never, once, you've never run a marathon?

Speaker 2:

No, not a half marathon. Nope. You've never run a marathon. No, not a half marathon. Nope, even with your cyborg knee?

Speaker 1:

Nope, I don't have a cyborg knee. I don't have a knee never ran me neither.

Speaker 2:

Well, how about during the london marathon? I know we talked about what the boston last week. Now we get the london marathon.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you're all foggy, little london town. Hey, hello governor, hey fishing chips, boy mate. We have one british listener and he is so offended right now and I'm sorry, but anyway you share with more of his friends so they can get offended, and, uh, that's a good idea, yeah. Listen to these American blokes oh we should put more baked beans on our toast and eggs for breakfast Baked beans at breakfast is weird.

Speaker 2:

I'm sorry. I want an English full breakfast. I want this is perfect. I'm sorry. I want an English full break. I want to. I want uh, this is perfect, great backing up the truck. But I want a real, genuine full English breakfast Beans, mushrooms, the weird bacon, the whole nine yards.

Speaker 1:

I want it, tomatoes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I want the whole thing Start to finish, you're you?

Speaker 1:

don't want their bacon.

Speaker 2:

No, I wanted. I want the genuine experience of a full English breakfast.

Speaker 1:

Okay, Because when you order bacon, you're going to get ham. Yeah. I know Our ham, but they call it common, I think, roasted tomatoes are weird.

Speaker 2:

That's a weird texture, yeah, but enough about giving our friends. That's a weird texture. Yeah, but enough about giving our friends across the pond a hard time. A marathon runner in the London Marathon drank 25 glasses of wine while doing the London Marathon. Good for him, good for him or bad for him? I'm proud.

Speaker 1:

Good for him or bad for him.

Speaker 2:

I'm proud I've only been. I've only drank too much wine once and it was a great time, but it was only like three or four glasses and I was feeling a little very loosey goosey.

Speaker 1:

Your wine will put you in your chair pretty quick.

Speaker 2:

So I don't know how my man did 25 glasses.

Speaker 1:

While also running that far. While running, I was right at Good for him.

Speaker 2:

It's so odd.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, sabrina made fun of me because I used to drink jug wine Like a gallon. Yeah, by, like Carlo Rossi, by the big jug of it. I wouldn't drink it all in one sitting, but I would own like a gallon jug and I'm a big firm believer.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, by choice. Or if I'm going to you, invite me to a social event, I'm not going to show up empty-handed. I'll probably stop and get you a jug of Carlo Rossi. I'd rather you show up empty-handed Some red wine. And I actually went to Ollie's and found these Kentucky Derby glasses. They're smaller, legit glasses, so that little thing up with some table wine Pre-kids. And then, after like a week straight of drinking it, I looked at her and I was like man, my heart hurts. I was like red wine is supposed to, you know, make me, help, live me forever, help me live forever. And nope, it felt like it was trying to kill me.

Speaker 2:

Doesn't cheap wine have like arsenic in it? Probably? Yeah, you probably shouldn't drink that too much, but it is delicious, is it though? No, it is, I enjoyed it. I had a friend who got who overindulged in on gallon wine. It was a white wine You're like gross, oh he was a mess wine. You're like gross, oh he was a mess, and it was. I'm not gonna give away too many details cuz it was a little personal, but at one point he left the party and I found him outside crying his eyes out, yeah, and I was like what's going on? And he explained it and I was like I'm leaving you have fun, I don't have time for this.

Speaker 1:

I like red wine, I like mealy vanilly.

Speaker 2:

I like sweet wine. What is happening, buddy Sure? Oh, berry wine. We're buying ride mowersowers.

Speaker 1:

We're talking about wine all right, you know what we're gonna move on from marathon runners. Look my PWN. It usually is about animals. I'm gonna bring another animal into this one, ooh, but this one's gonna be fun. So some kittens were dropped off in Arizona Humane Society recently. A good Samaritan's hay found litter of kittens. I want to do my due diligence, turn them in, make sure they have a healthy, prosperous life. But it turned out to be something more. So the Humane Society has to start warning people to be certain that baby animals are actually orphans before attempting to rescue them, and to be sure and to verify the species of the animal. So recently Good Samaritan found a den behind their shed of tiny baby animals. Good Samaritan, not knowing what else to do, brought the critters to the Arizona Humane Society, thinking that meh, domestic animals need help. Here's some cats. Turns out they were baby Foxes. Somebody had a litter Of baby foxes behind their shed, thought they were cats and run men.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for the question. Do baby foxes look their shed? Thought they were cats and brown men. That is a question. Do baby foxes look like kittens?

Speaker 1:

No, I'm going to Google that real quick. No, also, how big is your yard area that behind your shed? You think they're kittens, but it's foxes? How do you not know you have foxes in your area? You think they're kittens, but it's foxes. How do you not know you have foxes in your area?

Speaker 2:

Hey, baby foxes, right, you ready for this? Mm-hmm. I don't know if this is like groundbreaking here, but baby foxes Look like Small foxes. Wow, I think it's more on that person.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, wasn't really trying to go with the eel here, but yeah's more on that person. Yeah, I wasn't really trying to go with the eel here, but yeah, it's on the person.

Speaker 2:

No, thank you.

Speaker 1:

I'm a big guy If I see an animal out in the wild, I tend to leave it there. Yeah, I'm not really touching animals. If I see babies, I don't touch them. Nope, they tell you. You see a baby cub mama cubs around. You see a baby snake mama snakes around. You see my kids around. I'm right there with an uppercut, ready to hand out Little mic check one, two, is this thing on? So no, I'm not messing with the litter of what I think would be kittens. So when I started reading the article because I always find random stuff I was waiting for it to be like a possum. Yeah, really was. And then it said fox and I'm like, oh okay, this is odd, we're going to use this we're going to go from Arizona to Colorado.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's a good trip.

Speaker 1:

Go up the Colorado River.

Speaker 2:

Woman tried to steal a truck.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

I like where this is going. She got caught and she got arrested because she couldn't drive stick. So to all of our criminal listeners make sure you know how to drive what you are stealing.

Speaker 1:

Oh, this is the new millennial anti-theft. Back in the 90s we had a club. Early 2000s you had the club that when you're stealing, you're locked into a place. You remember that random Jeep we saw a while back, mm-hmm, and that parking garage was like covered in dust. I forget where we were, but it still had the club in there. Man, that thing's probably been parked since 1998.

Speaker 2:

Oh that, and not touched Thick layer of dust and it still had the club on. That was probably an original club. Oh, it was the original club. Mom and dad had a club. What vehicle did you learn?

Speaker 1:

stick in first time I drove, stick was in a big rig. And then I remember dad's red F100, custom three on the tree. I learned to stick on that one.

Speaker 2:

That's one where my pinky got closed in the door and I asked our cousin to open the door. He was a couple of years younger than us and I was like, hey, man, can you open the door? I'm trying to stay calm and I was like, hey man, can you open the door? And he goes, why? And I go, my finger's stuck. And he looks at my finger stuck in the door and he just screams and runs into our house. And then I managed to free myself and I go in the house and everyone's yelling at me Why'd you make him cry? I said well, I didn't. That was his reaction. He chose to cry.

Speaker 1:

My hand was legit stuck in there and 127 hours later he cut my arm off to be here. So why are you yelling at me?

Speaker 2:

It doesn't mean it was Northern South Carolina. We were driving to Florida and I get out to pump gas. Mom and dad rented a Ford freestyle oh that like in between station wagon SUV thing. Yeah, they had short lives but they were awesome. I was kicking the tire to make sure it was good and I guess while I was pumping, dad left dad and let off the brake and it rolled forward a little bit. You know what I mean, where it locks into the trans lock bit. You know what I mean? Where it locks into the trans lock. You didn't park a year, yep, yeah. So I, it's not on my foot per se, but it's on my shoe. I can't move it.

Speaker 2:

So I finished pumping gas and I was like all right, dad, can you get off my foot? And he goes I'm not on your foot, come on. And I take a step back and I'm shouting. I'm like, can you please get off my foot? And he goes. Dad, you got one chance to make a joke and if he doesn't laugh, it's serious, you're over. A few more exciting F words were thrown around about getting into the vehicle Until mom opens her door. She looks my foot is actually stuck and she goes get off his foot, those random things like. It's not believable. No, dad, you're on my foot. I pumped the entire. We were empty. I filled up our tank with the car on my foot.

Speaker 2:

All right, hey by the way can you move?

Speaker 1:

Get in the car. Yeah, yeah, no, 40. Way can you move? Get in the car.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, no 40. I want a good move. I want to get back on the road. Hooray, the professional truck driver, you know what I mean. We have a time on vacation. Yeah, we're not going to slow down. I love to get in the car.

Speaker 1:

Dad, yeah, I remember driving that the big gray dumpster, the truck I had. I remember driving that I got my permit and then we were shortly thereafter going to Jersey on one of the vacations we took. That's when you had your permit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I remember, yeah, going uphill with a big bed full of stuff On 55.

Speaker 1:

Figure it out and you're like, oh God, I'm going to run into somebody.

Speaker 2:

I remember being parked on a going uphill at a red light and you were sweating and I didn't know why. And then, yeah, you kept stalling out, and you and dad were just fighting. And I'm just sitting in the middle and he's like put it in gear, let's go. And you're just like I'm trying, I'm trying, oh, that's so great. I learned in a geo tracker. Oh, good choice. Yeah, dad handed me the keys and goes all right, this is what we're driving this weekend. And I was like okay, and he goes, you're my driver. And I was like all right, yep, I realized, though, the faster you go, the easier it is to shift.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, facts.

Speaker 2:

But starting on, the hill from a dead stop when you're like 16. I can't believe you were. I see I I was. Every time I get I'm on 55 and I turn off to go to Cape May or whatever, and there's always that house you turn at and that's the hill you get stuck on. You got stuck on. Yeah, and I always think about that. I didn't realize that was when you had your permit. Yeah, I'm PTSD from that. Yeah, I don't blame you, dude.

Speaker 1:

So when I go to my station in Portugal, I wasn't driving and it was traumatic for me. Yeah, that hill's crazy. But like when I was in Portugal, that's what it's like. It was like volcanic island, so there's nothing but hills. So like everybody had stick over there because it's easier and cheaper. So I bought a car and I was like, oh man, it's like Jersey Got it, I'm figuring it out. So I went back to that mindset. So whenever I came to a stop sign and there's a car already there, I left a couple car lengths between us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah so like you are going to roll back on me, yeah, even with automatic transmission sometimes cars go back very far yeah, they do.

Speaker 1:

But if you're going to steal a vehicle, learn how to drive stick. Learn to drive stick. Okay, moving on here, ah, man, we can talk about driving with dad, for I learned how to drive stick by running my mouth as like a 13 14 year old at working at the shop probably 14. The truck driver said, yep, all I gotta do is back my rig into the the bay. I'm going home, like, give me the keys, I'll do it. And he went all right. I went, oh crap. And so there's dad on one side of the step. Frank was on the other side because Frank's truck. So we put a gear and I did a couple laps in the parking lot and I was like, well, let me line up the back of the end and Frank goes, get out, I'll let you do everything else, but you're not going to scratch my truck going into the bay. That's fair. And then, yeah, from then on, working at the shop, dad was telling me keys, no, I failed I failed the big rig test.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's a lot easier to do it when there's nobody else in the truck, with you judging, you yelling. Yeah, no, I just I stole the malibu. A couple times when dad worked in chester springs, he'd tell me to take the trash out or something. I would just throw it in the trunk of the Malibu and drive over to the dumpster. And then there was a grocery store across the street and I just I drove over. You're not gonna, not At 13, probably wasn't my best, smartest move. No, but you survived. Yeah, mom wasn't happy, dad left. Yeah, I was also doing like circles in the parking lot trying to get cruise control to work. Yeah, never could get it.

Speaker 1:

No, you gotta be going to the road for that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, should have. It's right next to the farm, could you imagine?

Speaker 1:

What's the lowest cruise control? Kick on now.

Speaker 2:

See, that's the thing, that's what I was trying to test. When does cruise control kick on now? See, that's the thing. That's what I was trying to test when does cruise control actually kick on? It wasn't like I was trying to go fast, I was trying to see when cruise control worked. I think 25. Yeah, I can assure you it was under 25. It did not work. Yeah, but that caught me. He wasn't happy. Probably should have turned the lights off. He would have no idea where I was.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, at like 15, dad was throwing keys at my head. Go, put gas in the car.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Sure boss, I'll put gas in there. Yeah, can I get pumped? 20 on pump two, aren't you a kid? 20 on pump two. Do you want my money or not? Yeah, back when gas was a dollar a gallon Speaking about a dollar we brought up right before eel of the week was the Philadelphia getting rid of dog night. Now it's buy one, get one, half field night, which Bryce Harper's doing great with those. But the New York Mets still have their dog dog night.

Speaker 2:

They need a reason for their fans to show up. Yeah, they are the Mets.

Speaker 1:

Not everybody can be first place. The other night, harry, they sold a record, a Mets record of 44,269 hot dogs in one night. During the game, the Mets announced that they had 22,880 people in attendance for the game, which is abysmal, especially for Mets, meaning that about two hot dogs per fan were purchased and one of those fans was sporting a custom t-shirt. The shirt read a bad day to be a glizzy, now glizzy. I've had to research. It turns out to be a slang nickname for a hot dog.

Speaker 2:

Wait, hold on. You don't know that hot dogs are called glizzies? Nope, didn't know that. Yeah, it's definitely the younger generation, but yeah, that's what I refer to them as now. What's wrong with the term hot?

Speaker 1:

dog Glizzy is just awesome.

Speaker 1:

Sounds weird, but the young man who had the shirt says day to be a glizzy on his shirt. He's also keeping track of how many of these quote glizzies he was being pelted with during the game. I think that most of the 44,000 that were purchased were pretty much chucked at him. I mean, fans started launching hot dogs at him later in the game before several police and security staff went down to his section to escort him out of there. Wait, they were just throwing hot dogs at him. Why they were just throwing hot dogs at him? Because he had a shirt. Bad day to be a glizzy. He was trying to keep track. He had tally marks on his shirt of how many times he was getting hit. Trying to be a glizzy. He was trying to keep track. He had tally marks on his shirt of how many times he was getting hit. Try to be a spectacle, try and get. He wants us to talk about him, but he looks like he was going for the nine for nine. You know what I'm?

Speaker 2:

talking about. We're going to talk about that after this story he was trying.

Speaker 1:

He also had a hat Looking like a hot dog, like a hot dog on a stick benders. But this one goes out to you, buddy. Good job on getting your name out there, also for being a terrible Mets fan and getting hit with a bunch of hot dogs.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you deserve it. You're a Mets fan.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, go Phils.

Speaker 2:

Go, phils Guy's still a loser. The 999 Challenge have you ever done it?

Speaker 1:

No, cause I've never had anybody willing to hang out with me.

Speaker 2:

For the whole game. So the 999 challenge Nine hot dogs, nine beers In nine innings. I want to do it so bad. Oh yeah dogs, nine beers in nine innings.

Speaker 1:

I want to do it so bad. Oh yeah, we, you and I have to do it. Oh yeah, next time we're. I don't care what kind of game it is Like, I prefer it to be a minor league game. Oh, even better.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, cause one stormers near me and the Redding fills what was a great Might need to make a trip.

Speaker 1:

We don't have a minor league team around here for baseball? No, we do not. There's a stadium, but they're renovating the stadium. It was trash.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the Barnstormers won the championship Last year, did they? Yeah, they're an independent league but they're still with the MLB, so, like the MLB can come in and pick players, but they're not associated with any team Per se. Okay, yeah, it's pretty cool. But yeah, the 999. I don't know if I could do it. I'm going to be honest. See, the problem is we would need a driver.

Speaker 1:

No, you need a driver and you need to be committed. That takes some commitment, because it's not just the nine hot dogs Nine hot dogs, that's more than people realize but nine beers, and it's stadium beer, so they're usually tall boy. Ask yeah, pounders. Mostly a pounder, which, for those that don't know, a pounder is a 16 ounce beer and a tall boy is 24.

Speaker 2:

Cause it had to be beer. Could it be like twisted tea?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I don't know. We could modify the rules a little bit. Never had a twisted tea, Because a beer would you've never had a twisted tea. No.

Speaker 2:

What. How I don't know how that's surprising, but that's got to be. The problem, though, is all the suds and all that filling you up too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, beer is very filling. It is Plus. You're going to have to pee every inning.

Speaker 2:

But you got to get up to get beer and hot dogs Every half inning. Yeah, I'd probably do. I don't think I'd do beer and hot dog per inning. I'd probably do. I don't think I'd do beer and hot dog per inning. I'd probably break it up.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'd probably just shotgun nine beers and then Eat hot dogs, the rest of the game Does.

Speaker 2:

minor league uses a pitch clock. Now too, right, I think so. Yeah, oh, pretty pitch clock. We probably could do it.

Speaker 1:

Oh pretty, pitch clock. You had plenty of time. You had six hours to kill.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you ended up doing the 9-9-9 unintentionally.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, in the seventh inning, before the seventh inning stretch, you had to go buy three beers.

Speaker 2:

But now, with the pitch clock, it's tight dude.

Speaker 1:

You got two and a half hours to do it all. We could do it, we got to do it, but also you got to think about there's. Every stadium's going to have their own delicacy. Yeah, I would replace hot dogs in Philly with a salt pretzel.

Speaker 2:

Nine pretzels, nine beers, nine innings. You could do it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I call that a Tuesday night where I'm from. Yeah, man, that sounds good. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, at the Trout Stream, on Instagram and Twitter at Trout Stream Pod. Leave a rating review of whatever stream platform you listen to us from. Listen your reviews this week biggest pet peeve. Throw it into your review comment. The best way to expand Trout Stream is by word of mouth from listeners like you. Tell all your friends, family, coworkers, enemies, harry, who else? Dave Bautista? Tell Dave Bautista about your new favorite podcast. Thanks for listening.

Speaker 2:

Don't get your lines dangled and if you need help, reach out. Guarantee someone will listen.

Speaker 1:

Go Phils.

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